Lynn's Outing
by LavMenace
Summary: It amazed me that people were surprised to learn that Lynn loved Marlene. This is my attempt to shed some light on their relationship during initiation. WARNING: There will be adult language and situations so go ahead and close this fanfic if you are offended by either. Please let me know your thoughts!
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Divergent or any of Veronica Roth's characters.**

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Chapter One

"Fucking dyke!" he spat as her fist met his gut. The fight has been going on for over 10 minutes and I don't know where she gets her stamina. Lynn has taken blow after blow to her small frame but she is still on her feet. She is fast and uses her small stature to her advantage. Her uppercut is surprisingly powerful and, after one too many, he begins to falter. He no longer carries his weight over the balls of his feet and begins to fall back. She sees her window, strikes again, and he succumbs to gravity. The impact of him hitting the mat causes a reverberation in the training room but Lynn is not done. She straddles his chest and begins to pound his face with her fists. Tears of rage are streaming down her face and she is muttering with each gasp for air though I can't hear what she's saying. It takes Lauren, Uriah, and me to pull her off of him. His face is bloodied, his eyes are swollen shut, and he had fallen unconscious shortly before his head hit the mat.

"Lynn, it's over, he's done. You can stop now," I whisper into her ear as I hold her arms from behind. I turn her around quickly and my eyes meet hers. Her eyes are on fire yet blank. They stare beyond me. I don't know where her anger comes from but it frightens me. We have been friends our entire lives. Our mothers were in the same Dauntless initiate class. We used to be inseparable but that changed when we both started going through puberty. She preferred to hide her new curves under baggy clothes and sports bras. I had tried to take her shopping a few times and recommend some makeup but she wasn't having it. She became more moody and brooding. She ruined more than a few double dates that I dragged her on so eventually I stopped asking. We hadn't really spoken more than passing pleasantries in months. To be honest I was surprised to see her at the Choosing ceremony, and not just because of her shaved head. Over the past year she seemed aimless, destined for the life of the factionless. Instead she gritted her teeth, glared into the crowd, raked the knife over her palm, and held her bloodied hand over the coals. Uriah and I have tried to include her throughout initiation. She has been a very gloomy third wheel.

The light has returned to Lynn's eyes. She is looking at me instead of through me as I calmly say, "Lynn why don't you go cool off, take a shower."

She whips herself out of my grasp and responds in a cold tone, "You don't get to tell me what to do Marlene!" spitting the last syllable of my name out of her mouth as if it had a bitter taste.

Lauren adds, "You're done for the day Lynn! Out!"


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Divergent or any of Veronica Roth's characters. **

**Warning: If you are offended by obscenities, self pleasure, or same sex relationships this is a great place to stop reading…**

**Let me know how I'm doing. I actually toned this chapter down a bit because I thought it was too much. What do you think?**

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I am lucky I grew up here. My feet carry me places that my eyes cannot see as I run from the training room to the Dauntless-born Initiates' dormitory. Tears and rage blind me. How dare he call me a dyke in front of everyone! Just because I wouldn't give him a fucking hand job as he mauled me when Marlene dragged me on that double date with him and Uriah last year? That doesn't make me a dyke, it makes me sane. He's a behemoth, all brawn, and no brains. Perfect Dauntless material. Why does the word dyke scare me? I can't be a dyke. I've been with plenty of guys. Sure, they didn't give me the same release that I can give myself but I just chalked that up to their own inexperience and the fact that I've been playing with myself since I was in lower levels. I smirk. What can I say? I know what I like. Do I? Now that I think about it no guy has ever gotten me off. What do I like?

I reach the dormitory. I rip through my drawer, grab a change of clothes, and storm off to the showers. As much as I hate to admit it, Marlene was right. I need to calm down. I turn the water on as hot as it will go. The pipes scream as the hot water courses through them and the bathroom fills with steam. I stand under the scalding streams of water, my head hanging down, and my hands above my head on the shower wall. The cold tiles ground me as I stretch out my stiff back. The water runs off my buzzed hair, along my face, burning my split lip and eyebrow, and into a pink swirl around the drain. I stand, frozen in this position, until my skin is hot and red around the tattoos what weave down my spine. I lift my head and bring my hands to my body, running them under the water. I let it wash away my opponent's blood that has mixed with mine on my split knuckles. It also washes away my tears and anger.

My mind is clear until suddenly that question returns to my head: What do I like? It's not the hard guys around Dauntless. They're all bravado and rippling muscles. They couldn't carry on an intelligent conversation if their lives depended on it. They would rather dare each other to undergo dangerous acts to prove their own bravery. Instead, I think, it proves their idiocy. I shake my head as if to clear that thought. I grab a bar of soap and lather my hands without thinking about the act. I rub my hands over my face and down my neck. I let my head fall back as I grip the back of my neck. What do I like? The water rushes across my face and I continue down my body, my hands hang on my shoulders for a few moments before they continue down my chest. The harshness of my collarbones and ribs gives way to the softness of my chest. My hands pause. What do I like? As if in response, my nipples harden. I have been ashamed of my chest since I just had buds. I crushed them under too small sports bras as soon as they began to jiggle. I was glad for the black color of our faction once I noticed how dark my nipples were against my olive skin. If I were forced to wear the white shirts of Candor surely people would be able to see them. Now my breasts, released from their cruel sports bra, beg to be touched. I lather my hands again and give them what they want. My soapy hands glide over my skin. I lift them, surprised by their heft. I knead them and then pull them away from my body until just the tips are left between my fingers. My eyes close and a moan escapes my mouth. I paw at myself, with my nipples between my first and middle fingers. I pinch them and the pain causes a jolt that runs down my body, stopping between my legs. What do I like? I like a little pain with my pleasure.

My right hand moves down my body and follows the water on its track across my taut stomach; initiation has treated my abs well. My hand grazes the hair between my legs as it continues down my thighs. I circle back stroking my thighs and cupping my ass before following the curve of my hip and back to my mound. What do I like? I like softness. I like curves.

I cup myself. I can feel the slickness mixing with the shower water as it drips off of me. Quickly my middle finger slips between my lips. It begs to be touched. I tease myself with my finger getting nearer and nearer my nub without touching it. I continue as long as I can stand it. What do I like? I like to be teased.

My hips rock and my finger collides with the very spot I've been teasing. The rest of my fingers join my middle finger. My whole hand is stroking my slit, dipping deeper and deeper with each pass. Eventually I let my fingers plunge inside. I'm dripping. My hips thrust back and forth causing my right hand to disappear over and over. My knees are weak and feel like they're going to buckle under my weight. I lean my left shoulder against the shower wall to support myself. What do I like? I like the feeling of a hand inside me.

I close my eyes tighter and colors appear behind my eyes. I can tell I'm close. In flashes behind my closed eyes I see bright eyes, long hair, a flirtatious smile. A name escapes my lips in a moan as I throw my had back in pleasure, "Marlene." I shiver. Marlene? That's what I like?

I hear a gasp and it is not my own. Who has been watching me and how long have they been there?


	3. Chapter 3

"What was that all about?" Lauren asks.

"No shit!" says Uriah. They both stare at me as if I have all the answers.

I throw my hands up, "I have no idea what is going on in her head!" Initiate Lynn isn't the same person from my childhood and I need to realize that. It's not initiation that's getting to her because this started months ago. It's something more, something deeper. She and I have grown apart over the past year. We used to have sleepovers and stay up all night talking about what we would do during initiation and what jobs we would have afterwards. In our daydreams we were always ranked 1st and 2nd. Lynn wanted to be a leader. I wanted to train the initiates but I knew I couldn't be intimidating. I would be a nice instructor, their friend. Sometimes we'd stay up so late talking that we fell asleep in the same bed and would wake curled up together. I can still remember the comfort of her arm thrown over my body. Best friends.

"Earth to Marlene," Uriah says as he snaps his fingers in front of my face. I focus on his face, his smile, as he continues, "You need to find her and fast before something happens."

Lauren adds, "She's not in her right mind and I'll be damned if I'm going to be first instructor to lose an initiate this year."

Uriah pulls me close. His strong arms are around my waist and he plants a kiss on my cheek. I giggle nervously and head out the door. They're right. Lynn was crazed today. Something came over her. That look, the fire in her eyes and the way she looked right through me, scared me.

My first stop is the pit. I have to check the chasm. It's a grim annual initiation tradition that at least one initiate attempts suicide, often they're successful. One of the most popular places for that final deed is the chasm. My eyes dart across the pit. No Lynn. I duck into the dining hall and scan the crowd. I see a few shaved heads but none are hers. Finally I reach the chasm. I grab the railing with my eyes clamped tight. I have never prayed or thought about God but in this instant I hope and whisper, "Please, please, please." I take a deep breath, open my eyes, step up onto the lower support rail, and look over. There is nothing but water crashing along the rocks. I can breathe again.

I bolt to our dormitory. Lynn's drawer is open with clothes askew but it is not empty. I let out another sigh. At least she hasn't run away. Maybe she actually took my advice. I run towards the showers. I hear the water running as soon as I walk in the bathroom. The shower must have been running a long time because the room is filled with steam.

I call out her name timidly so I don't startle her. "Lynn?" No answer. Maybe it's not Lynn in the shower. I peek under the stall and see a worn pair of black boots and a pile of black clothes. That isn't very helpful here in Dauntless. Maybe I can get a look at the person's feet, see if there are any identifiable tattoos. I've never seen any tattoos on Lynn, just an eyebrow piercing. As I get closer I hear moaning. I cover my mouth with my hand to stifle a giggle and block the urge to let out a cheer. Someone's getting some! Could it be Lynn? Who would she be in the shower with? My voyeuristic inclinations take control and I bend over to look for a second pair of feet. I only see one pair, Lynn's. Through the space between the curtain and the tile wall of the shower I see a shaved head and a strong back. Her traps are amazing! There are black tattoos lining her spine from the base of her neck to the base of her spine. Lynn has tattoos? How far have we grown apart in the past year that I don't know she has tattoos? She leans against the shower wall. Her right hand is busy between her legs. I know I should look away but I am drawn to her. I watch the muscles in her back and arm and the way her ass tightens with each thrust. She goes faster and faster. This is amazing. I have touched myself a few times but I usually get bored before anything comes of it. I've never done anything like Lynn is doing. It causes a stirring in me, a feeling that I can't explain. Awareness is the closest word I could use to describe it. I am aware of every square inch of skin on my body. It is warm. My breath quickens causing my chest to heave. I can't stop watching her. She knows exactly what she likes and isn't afraid to take care of it herself. How brave, how Dauntless! I lean in closer and stare. Her right hand is going faster and faster, I can see every movement in her strong muscles. Her left hand is still drawn to her chest. When did I start holding my breath? She starts to moan. She thrusts, throws her head back, and freezes. Her ass, back, and arm muscles are rigid. I lean in closer. I have to know whom she is fantasizing about. "Marlene," she cries breathlessly. I gasp and quickly clamp my hand over my mouth.

Lynn quickly turns around. She's unable to pry her right hand away as she bucks against the final waves of her orgasm. Her left is grabbing at the shower curtain to close the gap.

"Who's there? Back the fuck off! I have a knife," she screams.

She quickly wraps a towel around herself and digs through her clothes for her weapon. She jerks the shower curtain back, knife in hand. She holds it away from her body, ready to strike. Her fierce face crumbles as her eyes meet mine. The knife drops to the floor. Anger gives way to embarrassment. She blushes and lowers her gaze. Her arms drop to her sides. I focus on the droplets of water that cling to her short hair and run down her chest, disappearing between her breasts. As she looks up at me with her full amber eyes I can see the tears starting to well up. Timidly she starts towards me, arm outstretched, "Marlene, I can explain."

I freeze. What did I just witness? Was she thinking of me while she was doing that? Is the image of me that powerful? She holds out her hand. I nervously reach out and our fingers touch. Lynn collapses to the bathroom floor and I crouch down with her. I wrap my long arms around her as she kneels. Her body racks with sobs. She clings to the back of my shirt and pulls me close. Her cheek is against my breasts and her mouth is agape with a silent scream. It is as if the past year of angst is pouring from her body. Is this what she was trying to hide from me? Lynn, a lesbian? I've heard the rumors. I know she's been sleeping around and that the guys in Dauntless have a name for her, the board. Apparently she just lies silent and still as the guys pound away. Was she trying to prove something? Maybe she thought it was better to be called a whore than a dyke. I shift my body and sit on the floor. I bend my knees and draw my legs around to the side. Lynn lowers her head to my thighs and continues to cry. Her sobs give way to silent tears. Her eyes are closed tightly. Can she even look at me? I need to comfort her but I don't know what to say. I have to touch her. I rub my hand over her hair. I love the feeling of a buzzed head. My thumb attempts to dry her tears but more replace the ones I just wiped away.

I lean forward and bring my lips to her exposed ear, "shhhhhh."

I kiss her temple and continue to stroke her hair. Her tears eventually subside but I sit there, holding her, unsure of my next move. She is drained, emotionally and physically. She needs love and tenderness, neither of which is in great supply during Dauntless initiation. I hook my arms under hers and help her to her feet. I lead her to the shower stall where her clean clothes hang on a hook. She has a wife beater, thin pajama pants, and cotton boy shorts, all black. She must have forgotten her ever-present sports bra. She hangs her head in defeat as I tenderly dry her body with her towel. I am still amazed by her transformation since we used to change in the locker room together. She has been hiding a perfect juxtaposition of soft curves and tight muscles under her baggy clothes. I allow her towel to drop to the floor. She gingerly raises her arms as I slip her shirt over her head and I have to stretch it to accommodate her curves. She steadies herself with one hand on my shoulder and one on my hip as I help her slip on her underwear, one foot at a time. I kneel down to help her into her pants and she braces herself on my shoulders. I gather her dirty clothes and boots in my left arm. I slip my right hand into her left and lead her from the bathroom.

The sounds of Lynn's bare feet padding against the stone floor are all that I can hear over my pounding heart. I am grateful we do not encounter anyone on our way and that the dormitory is empty when we return. Lynn would hate to be seen like this. She is weak, defeated, and exhausted, not to mention how exposed her ample chest appears in the tight shirt. I pull the blankets back on her bunk and she slips under the covers. She curls up on her side I am amazed at how small she appears as I cover her up. Is this the same person that just knocked out a man who outweighed her by at least 100 pounds? I sit on the floor by her bed and lean close. I put my arm over her shoulders and lay my head next to hers on the pillow. Her eyes are closed, her breathing slows, and she is calm. Once I am sure that she is asleep I lean in and give into my urge. I softly kiss her full lips. She sighs contently in her sleep and I quietly slip out of the dormitory.

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**It may take me longer to update this time. This chapter went in a different direction than I had originally intended. I've outlined the whole story but it's going to take a bit of an arc to get back to my original plan. **


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't own Divergent or any of Veronica Roth's characters. I'm really enjoying writing this and would love feedback! **

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Ok, someone's there. Holy shit, I've never cum so hard. I can't pull my hand from my slit. The pleasure comes in waves over my body. I have to get my shit together. I'm vulnerable, naked, and my legs can barely support me after what just happened. I'm cornered. There's no way to escape without getting past whoever is waiting for me. Dauntless has prepared me to act. I need to clear my head but how? I just got off to the thought of Marlene. OK, Lynn. That's not what's important now. Right now there is someone out there and they've been watching long enough to know what just happened. I jerk the shower curtain to close the small gap. What do I have to protect myself? There's a knife in my boot. It's not a large one but it will have to do.

"Who's there? Back the fuck off! I have a knife!"

Well actually I don't have a knife right now per se, it's in my boot. I have to arm myself. I grab a towel and quickly cover myself as I fumble through my things to get the knife. I wonder how loud I was, maybe it was just someone that was walking past the bathroom and wanted to get a better look. If that's the case then what do they want? Will they want more? Once I'm armed I jerk the curtain back to face my voyeur.

Marlene? Marlene? I drop my knife and my fierce façade disintegrates. Anyone other than Marlene would have made me feel better. I'd even take Eric over Marlene. I see how he looks at me and I've heard that he is accustomed to getting what he wants. No means nothing to Eric. But no, it's Marlene. Tall, beautiful Marlene.

Her eyes are soft but not afraid. She's confused. Why did she have to see that? I can't look at her anymore and stare at a crack in the stone floor. She's always so considerate. I'm sure she was just worried about me after the way I wailed on that guy during the fight. She's so thoughtful, not an easy trait to hold in Dauntless. She got taunted for it in school. Someone painted her locker red and yellow during our first year at upper level to insinuate that she was better cut out for Amity. I have to look into her kind eyes again.

I lift my chin, start toward her, stretch my arm out, and croak, "Marlene, I can explain," but I can't.

I can't fucking explain what just happened. Why were the flashes of Marlene enough to push me over the edge and into the best orgasm I've ever had? I immediately think of the dull throb between my legs and how empty my cunt feels without my hand inside. I've got to snap out of this.

As soon as her fingers graze my outstretched hand the weight of my body becomes more than I can bear. I crumple to the floor and begin to sob. I'm sure she's going to bolt. Hell, I would if I'd just walked in on someone I'd known my whole life and learned that I was the object of their fantasy. Fuck! I've ruined everything.

Memories of this past year flood my head. Every time I treated her like shit it was because I wanted to push her away. She knew I was sinking into a depression and she was trying to keep me afloat, forcing me to be social, trying to make me wear more than pajamas to school. Friendly, nurturing Marlene.

She's doing it again. She's lowered herself to the floor. She's protecting me, wrapping her arms around me. I grab her shirt and pull her towards me. I need to feel her. I'm spiraling out of control and she grounds me. I bury my face in her chest so she doesn't see my contorted face. I hold her for what seems like an eternity. She sits there silently. She's not scared, I can tell. Her breaths are even and her heart is not racing. I haven't scared her away by moaning her name or showing her the ugly side of my depression. Brave, strong Marlene.

Once my fingers can no longer clench her shirt and my throat is raw from my sobs I go limp. My head is laying across Marlene's lap. At some point she lowered herself completely to the floor. I am still crying but I don't make a sound. Her long blond hair tickles my cheek as she leans over and whispers, "shhhhh" softly into my ear. Caring, thoughtful Marlene.

She kisses my temple and a quickening runs through my body. She begins to stroke my hair and then attempts to dry my tears with her thumb. I love how it feels. I've been so bitter lately, I don't remember the last time I was touched with love instead of anger or brutality. It feels nice. I realize that my tears have subsided and lay there in silent anticipation of Marlene's next move.

She lifts me to my feet and leads me back to the shower, the place where I bared my secret that even I was unaware of, I cannot look her in the eye so I stare at the floor again. She slowly untucks the edge of my towel that is buried between my breasts. She begins to dry my body, taking her time to get every drop off of my back, under my breasts, over my hips, and the backs of my thighs. Her hands may as well be conductive because I feel electricity in every place she touches me. Can she tell? Is that why she's taking her time? Is she enjoying it as much as I am? Once I am dry enough for her liking she allows the towel to drop to the floor. She can see all of me now. Every embarrassing curve that I have kept hidden for the past year is on display. She doesn't look away, instead she looks at me with love in her eyes. She grabs my shirt. Dammit, in my haste I forgot a bra. I lift my arms as she fits the wife beater over my head. This isn't going to be good. I don't usually wear this without at least a bra and another shirt. My breasts stretch the fabric. My nipples are still hard and there's no way this thin cotton is going to hide that. The old black fabric is stretched to a dark grey under the expanse of my tits and I'm sure she can make out the dark circles of my nipples even with them covered. Marlene reaches around to grab my underwear. I steady myself and place my hands against her body as she leans over to allow each leg entry. Can she smell me as she leans closer to my sex? If so, she gives no sign. I spread my legs a bit and bend my knees as she slips my underwear over my hips and ass. I love this pair and right now I'm glad that they're the ones I grabbed. They sit low on my hips. They're not lace or silk but they make me feel sexy and powerful because I know my ass looks great in them. I'm distracted by this thought until Marlene crouches before me. She has my pants and helps me slip each leg into them. She rights herself and begins to gather my dirty clothes. I slip my hand into hers and she leads me down the hallway.

I hope we don't encounter anyone on our slow trek back to the dormitory. My breasts bounce with every step. I have shed my armor of baggy clothing and anger and can no longer protect myself from prying eyes and lewd comments.

I am grateful when we make it to the dormitory undetected. Marlene and I are the only people in our room. My bunk is on the bottom to the right. She leads me to bed and there is a twinge of apprehension in my stomach. She throws back my blankets and I lower myself to me bed. It is soft and, as soon as I curl up, I realize how exhausted I truly am.

Marlene sits on the floor by my bunk. She leans over and places her head next to mine on the pillow. Her arm is tossed across my back. I close my eyes and think back to our sleepovers. I used to hold her this way as she slept. I wonder if she remembers those nights as fondly as I do. I think about sleep. Sleeping with someone is risky. You really have to trust someone to sleep in front of them. You are so vulnerably unaware I trust Marlene. I don't know how our friendship is going to change but I trust her with my life. That is my last thought as I drift off to a dreamless sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**I hope you enjoy how I spent my day off…**

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Thoughts are spinning through my head as I try to sort out what I saw and how I feel about it. I walk down the hallway, not paying attention to where I'm walking. I have to think this through, look at it as a problem that I can solve. I duck into an alcove and sit with my back to the corner and my knees drawn up to my chest. I start to list things that I know: Lynn was masturbating in the shower, her body has changed since I last saw her naked, I watched her, she called my name as she came, she caught me, she cried, I took care of her, she fell asleep, I kissed her. Next up, how does all this make me feel? I liked watching her, I couldn't peel my eyes off of her body, it pained me to see her hurting, I liked taking care of her, I really liked when I was drying her body, her lips were soft when I kissed her. Why did I kiss her? I kissed her because I wanted to. I wanted to know what those full lips would feel against mine. I wonder what would have happened if I had the courage to kiss her before she fell asleep. My breath has quickened without my noticing. Suddenly I realize that I'm not alone.

"There you are! I've been looking all over for you. Did you find Lynn?" It's Uriah.

"Uh, yeah" I reply.

"And," he interrupts.

"She's napping."

"Ok good, what do you say we get out of here?" Uriah reaches down for my hand and smoothly pulls me to my feet. He wraps his free arm around my lower back and reaches down to give my ass a squeeze. He can rarely keep his hands off of me when we're alone.

"Where are we going?" I ask. We aren't supposed to leave the compound without a Dauntless escort during initiation. We also aren't supposed to visit our families outside of visiting day but the Pedrad boys aren't exactly known for their rule compliance. Uriah grabs my hand and leads me off to the apartments.

"I have a surprise for you," he says as he smirks. He holds up a gold key. "Zeke gave it to me and told me I could drop by anytime."

"Isn't he at work in the control room until 6?" I ask, hopefully he can't hear the uneasiness in my voice.

"That's kind of the point babe!" he says with a wink. What does he have planned? Uriah and I have been dating on and off for the past year. It's never been anything serious, more hanging out and going to movies and stuff. We've kissed and he's felt me up but not much more has happened. There's no rule in Dauntless about dating before we're full members but it is implied that we shouldn't until after we successfully complete initiation. Only about half of the initiates ever make it to be full members and, really, it makes sense to not fall in love with someone when there's a 50% chance one of you could be factionless in a month.

Apparently I'm not moving fast enough for Uriah. He stops abruptly and bends his knees. "Hop on babe!" he says as he motions for me to get on his back. I wrap my arms around his neck and my long legs around his waist.

"I hope this isn't the only time you wrap your legs around me today," he says boldly.

I try to giggle but this is the furthest thing from my mind right now. We get to the door of Zeke's apartment and Uriah tries to fit the key into the lock. He drops it. Are his hands shaking? Is the brazen Uriah actually nervous? He leans over to pick up the key and I lose my balance. I topple from his back and hit my head on the doorfram. "Damn!"

"Oh no, fuck, I'm fucking this up aren't I Marlene." He _is_ nervous. How long has he been planning this? Uriah helps me to my feet as I rub the crown of my head where a bump is quickly forming. He gets the door unlocked and we spill into Zeke's apartment. I can tell a boy lives here. It smells like sweat and stale beer. How romantic… I can't help but think where Lynn would have taken me if it were she that had been planning our first time together. The apartment is small, a studio. From the door I can see the entire thing. The kitchen is over to the left, in front of me is a couch and coffee table, and the bedroom is off to the right. A door leads off of the bedroom, to the bathroom I assume.

"Do you want to lay down?" Uriah says sheepishly as he motions to the bed. It's unmade and the dark sheets don't look clean.

"Uh, nah, I think I'll just sit on the couch."

I sit on one of my legs in the corner of the sectional. I pull my other leg up and across my lap. Uriah heads to the kitchen and rips open the freezer.

"I think I can find an ice pack for your head."

"Thanks," I reply. He returns to the couch with a pack of frozen peas and two beers.

"I couldn't find an ice pack but this should do the trick." He puts the peas on top of my head. I'm sure I look ridiculous but Uriah gives me his signature smile. He brutally opens the beers by prying the tops off on the coffee table. The telltale nicks in the corners of the table tell me that this is not the first time that someone has done that. He hands me a beer. I've never really liked beer but I take it to give me something to do with my hands. I sip it slowly and we sit silently next to each other on the couch. Uriah chugs his beer down and then leans over to me. He starts rubbing my thigh and moves in for a kiss. Our lips touch. His are hard, not like Lynn's. The kisses are almost intrusive. I feel like he's starving and I'm a meal. Suddenly he's shoving his tongue in my throat, it tastes like beer. I reach out to put my beer down but spill it.

"Fuck," he exclaims.

He hops up and grabs my half spilled beer. He jogs the few steps to the kitchen and grabs a towel off of the counter. He throws it over the spill, not bothering to clean it up.

"Now, where were we?" he says coyly as he plops down next to me on the couch. "Why don't you come a little closer?"

He grabs my leg and pulls me across his lap so I'm straddling him on the couch. I lean down to return his kisses and the peas fall from my head, forgotten. Maybe I can do this. Uriah puts his hands on my waist, gripping me tightly. Our kisses get deeper, more intimate but still not as soft as I anticipate it would be with Lynn. Lynn. Ever present in my mind.

He reaches around to my rear and squeezes. My thoughts immediately go to Lynn's tight ass as she came. His hands start to work their way up my hips and eventually he slips them under my shirt. I have a straight waist, not like Lynn's curves, I think to myself. Uriah's hands reach my shoulders and he pulls me down, closer to him. His hands lower to my bra. I can tell he's struggling with the hooks.

I chuckle and ask, "want a little help?"

He grins again with a twinkle in his eye. I reach behind me and unhook my bra. His hands waste no time slipping under it and he massages my breasts. One of his hands can completely cover them. They're small, half the size of Lynn's. His thumbs quickly find my nipples and they harden. I can't help to compare mine to Lynn's in my mind. Hers are dark and large when they're hard. Mine are pink and small. Uriah brings his head to my chest and takes my breast into his mouth.

"That can't taste good," I tease as I remove my shirt and bra.

Now he is eye level with my breasts. I feel exposed. I quickly reach behind his head and grab the neck of his t-shirt. He understands my goal and, together, we pull off his shirt. Now we're both topless. I look at the contrast between my alabaster skin and his medium brown skin. He's not a bad looking guy. He's strong, funny, and is the life of the party. Any girl would be lucky to have him. I have him in the palm of my hand but is this what I want? Why can't I get Lynn out of my mind? I'm with Uriah now. In an attempt to banish her from my mind I lean over and kiss him deeply. He breaks our kiss and looks into my eyes. Lynn's large amber eyes immediately enter my mind.

He leans forward again and takes my right nipple into his mouth. His hand moves to my left. This feels good and I arch my back. My crotch shifts forward as I do and I feel a bulge in his pants. I freeze. Uriah stops and looks up at me with a mischievous look in his eye. I hope he can tell I'm nervous. I really don't know if I want this but I try to push my doubt deep in my mind. Uriah's lips move up to my mouth again and his hands move south, to the ties on my training pants. He jerks the string to untie it and slips his hand down my pants. His hands find the top of my panties and he slips his fingers below, lower until they find wetness.

"Wow, you're wet," he says and seems proud of himself.

I was wet before he found me; it's not his doing. He has Lynn to thank for that. Lynn, there she is again. I can't seem to get her out of my mind.

As Uriah changes the angle of his arm to slip inside me I can't help but compare it to what I saw in the shower. The frenetic movements of her arm muscles and she thrusted back and forth on her hand.

My eyes must have gone blank because Uriah grabs my chin with his free hand, "Are you with me?"

"Uh, yeah, I was just thinking about…" my sentence drifts off, I can't tell him what I'm thinking about.

"How badly you want to fuck me right now, huh!" Uriah says, sure of himself.

"Uh, yeah, something like that."

"You know you can touch me too," he says as he shifts his pelvis closer to me.

Uriah wants me to be engaged in what we're doing. I can understand it. I've been a spectator and the person acted upon, he wants me to act but I don't want to. He can tell too.

"What's gotten into you Marlene?" His hand has stopped moving but his fingers are still inside me.

"Well, right now Uriah, you," I quip, trying to lighten the mood that has suddenly gotten very bleak.

"I'm serious. I thought that this was what you wanted but right now you're not giving me any sign that you're into me." He pulls his fingers out of me, wiping them on the couch. We sit, bare chested, in a face off.

"Well, I, uh, I'm just worried about Lynn."

"Lynn?! Seriously, that's who you're thinking about right now?" He's angry. He'd be furious if he knew the truth. If I said right now that yes, she's exactly who I'm thinking about right now. I'm thinking about her arms, her back, how sexy the tattoos are that weave down her spine, her tight ass, how I know what she looks like when she cums, and how I want to see that look again. Uriah would probably be mad enough to strike me. I sit down to the side, pulling my leg across his lap. I suddenly feel embarrassed. I'm ashamed of my thoughts and feel exposed, not just because I don't have a shirt on. I grab my shirt and throw it over my head. I stuff my bra into my back pocket and head for the door.

"I'm sorry that this didn't go as you planned," and I start for the door. I mean what I said. I'm sorry Uriah.

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**I'd love to hear what you think. Review please!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I reworked this chapter a bit. I wasn't completely satisfied with the one I originally posted.**

**Divergent is Veronica Roth's. Obviously I didn't write it because it sure as hell wouldn't be YA.**

**Here's where it starts to get good…**

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As I awaken I realize that I am being held. My eyes dart open and my body goes stiff. Self-preservation is my first instinct. Fight or flight. The room is dimly lit. How long have I been asleep? Telling time without a clock is impossible in a windowless cave. Once my eyes adjust to the darkness I realize that I recognize the figure before me. Her wavy honey blonde hair partially obscures her face but I'd know that body anywhere. Marlene is in my bed. My body relaxes but my thoughts quickly return to the humiliating shower incident. Marlene didn't leave me. She comforted me, dressed me, and helped me to bed. Apparently she stayed there too. I reach out to return her embrace. Wait, no, she didn't stay. She returned. Her hair is damp; she's had a shower. I run my hands over her hair. It stops just above her waist. My fingers graze satin and halt. Marlene isn't wearing any pants. I hastily return my arm to my side.

My body is torn. I want to wrap my arm around the small of her back and pull her closer but, at the same time, I doubt that's what she would want.

"I was wondering when you were going to wake up," she purrs. She wasn't asleep. How long has she been here?

"Wh- wh- what time is it?" That's all I can get out. There were so many different questions barreling through my brain. What are you doing in my bed? Why aren't you wearing pants? What do you want? Just to name a few.

Marlene lifts the arm that she has slung across my body and looks at her watch, "5:15. You've been out for about 2 hours. Are you still sleepy?" She smirks. Now that I'm accustomed to the darkness in the room I can see her bright green eyes.

What is she trying to do to me? Maybe I should pinch myself to make sure this isn't a dream. She takes my right arm into her left hand and replaces it on her back. She nuzzles closer to my face.

"I was watching you."

"Why were you watching me sleep?"

"I'm not talking about now. I was watching you," she lowers her voice and leans in as if there were someone around to hear us, "in the shower."

"I know. I'm sorr-"

"Don't apologize. I liked it."

My response isn't a word, not even the idea of a word. More like the sound that air makes when it leaves a balloon.

"Will you do it again?" Her eyes beg more than her voice.

"But what if someone comes in? We're not exactly in a private room here."

"It's almost dinner time, no one's going to bother us. They're all in the dining hall. C'mon. I've never done that to myself. I mean I've tried but it never made me feel good. I want to learn."

Oh great, I'm just some experiment for her. I roll away from her and lie flat on my back. I fold the arm that was holding her behind my head. My left arm is still trapped under her body. She follows me, turns to her right side, props her herself up with her elbow, and slinks her left leg over mine.

"Please," she begs as she nuzzles circles into my cheek with her nose. Her warm breath on my cheek makes me shiver. "For me."

She starts to caress my stomach lightly, it would almost tickle if I wasn't so nervous, and puffs her lip out in a perfect pout. She's accustomed to getting her way. People don't say no to Marlene.

"I'm not some educational opportunity!"

"You've got it all wrong." She leans closer, her hair tickles my neck, and she whispers, "I want to watch you cum again because I liked it." As soon as the words leave her mouth she jerks the string of my pajama pants, untying them.

I exhale slowly, "ahhhhh" and I feel a tingle between my thighs. I reach up for my pillow with the hand that was supporting my head. I pull it down and bunch it under my neck for support. I slowly trace my fingers down my body, teasing my right nipple briefly before continuing into my pants. My stomach catches as my fingers graze my lips.

"Tell me what you're doing," Marlene utters.

"I'm touching myself," my voice breaks.

"Be more specific." She scolds.

"I'm, uh, running my first two fingers along my lips, spreading them."

"Are you wet?"

My eyes gape at her in response.

"I was wet today, after I watched you."

I turn my head towards hers and stare into her eyes as I say, "yes, I'm wet."

"Put your fingers inside, like you did in the shower."

I follow her commands and begin to slowly penetrate myself. I sway my hips forward to meet my hand. I liesurely fuck myself with my hand as I stare into Marlene's eyes. They aren't just green. There are flecks of yellow around her pupils. The gold flecks seem to dance in her eyes in the low light of the dormitory. I'm going slowly because I want this moment to last forever.

She's noticed that I'm being more gentle with myself than I was in the shower. "Faster, harder." She commands. I comply.

It's not long before I am breathless. My chest is heaving. Marlene's body is pressed against mine. She's watching every muscle twitch. Studying me.

I notice that she has started to rub her hips against my leg in rhythm with my hand. I wonder if she's even aware of the motion. Her breaths become harder and faster against my neck. She's wet, I can feel it on my thigh through her panties. I grip her hip with my free hand and urge her up so she's straddling my left thigh. I slowly begin to lead her as she grinds into me. I flex the muscles of my thigh to give her a harder surface to ride. I push her into me with my left hand in time with every thrust of my right. Her thigh pressed against my hand puts more pressure on my clit. She leans forward and places her hands on either side of my shoulders. She no longer needs my direction but I can't pry my hand from my low back. She grinds into my thigh and her breasts bob with every thrust of her pelvis. Her eyes are closed and her lips are parted in a pant. Her hair hangs down into my face. I pry my hand from her low back. I run it through her hair, gathering it at the base of her neck so I can stare at her face. I don't know how long I'm going to last at this rate.

The sight of her face, frozen in pleasure, and the knowledge that I am at least partially responsible for it is exactly what I need to push me over the edge. I pick up the pace with my fingers and soon a guttural moan escapes my body as my body freezes with my second orgasm of the day. We climax together.

Marlene collapses onto my chest and attempts to catch her breath.

"Well, you missed it. Your eyes were closed." I chide her as I smooth her hair.

"But _that_ was worth it! Holy shit! That's never happened to me before." She pops up onto her hands and lowers her face to mine. "And besides, you can just do it again for me. Soon." She gives me a long soft kiss.

We lay there, a mass of entangled arms and legs, as our breaths and heart rates return to normal. We eventually drift off to sleep, supported in each other's arms. That is how Uriah and the other Dauntless-born initiates find us when they loudly return from the dining hall.


	7. Chapter 7

**I never used to review the stories I read, no matter how much I liked them. Then I started writing and I realized how much I loved knowing that people liked my story. I figured there were other people out there like me so now I always write a review for stories I read. Hint hint. Constructive feedback and ideas are welcomed too ;)**

**As always, the Divergent world belongs to Veronica Roth. I'm just borrowing it for a little fun. **

**And now, the set up for something big… Enjoy!**

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Marlene's POV:

Visiting day. I dress quickly but make sure to choose something that will show off my newly toned arms. My mom never says it but I'm sure she worries about me and I want her to see that I'm strong. After my Aptitude test she told me that she was proud of me and that I should choose whatever faction would make me happy. I watched her face as I dropped my blood onto the coals. Most Dauntless parents would have been proud but her expression was one of shock and worry. My mom didn't think I was cut out for Dauntless. I stand up straight, throw my head back, and strut confidently into the pit. It's easy to find my mother. She is tall and willowy. We look a lot alike but her hair is darker, almost red. She's talking to Mrs. Pedrad, Uriah's mother. I interrupt their conversation by throwing my arms around my mother. I missed her. Uriah isn't far behind me. Our families separate for the reunions but I can hear Zeke teasing Uriah about following me around like a puppy.

"So, how's it going honey," my mom asks timidly.

"Really well Mom! I'm winning more fights than I lose. My technique is getting better and my long arms really help me get in hits without being close enough to take any."

"Good dear." She doesn't say it but I can tell she's relieved. "How many transfer initiates are there this year?"

"Nine."

"Well, then you need to just outrank at least four of them and you'll sail onto stage two."

Thanks for the vote of confidence Mom.

"How's everything else? How's Uriah? Hana tells me that you two have been spending a lot of time together."

"Uriah's good," I say half-heartedly. I glance over at Lynn, she's talking to her mom, sister, and brother. Sometimes I wish I had siblings, someone to steal the attention every once and a while.

"Well, you really need to wait to see if you make it through initiation to get serious. You wouldn't want to break that handsome boy's heart." Thanks again Mom. Does she think I'm going to fail initiation?

I glance over at Lynn again. Her mom and brother are nowhere to be found but she's leaning in and talking to Shauna, her sister.

"There's more to life than boys Mom," I say bitingly. I hope it stings, it was meant to. My parents divorced when I was young. My mom has been dating a string of guys since then and usually puts them before me. If she's not careful, she's going to run out of options. We aren't the largest of the factions.

"I know dear, I just want you to be happy."

"I can be happy without the help of some dumb guy!" I look away again, desperate to meet Lynn's gaze. I see her walking away towards the dormitory.

"'Ya know Mom, I really should get back. I need to hit the gym before I eat. I hear stage two isn't as physical as stage one and I want to keep my strength up."

"Good idea dear. Good luck." She holds her arms out to hug me and we embrace but I barely give her a squeeze.

I follow Lynn down the hallway to our dormitory with a skip in my step.

* * *

Lynn's POV:

I didn't realize how much I missed my family until I scanned the crowd in the pit for their faces. I find them quickly. My mom, sister, and brother are sitting on a bench along the back wall. I jog over to them. My mom stands and puts her arms on my shoulders, examining me.

"Well, you don't look too bad," she traces the cut on my eye. "How do you think you'll rank tonight?"

Fuck, rankings. I was so distracted yesterday that I didn't realize it was our last day of fights. Our rankings come out tonight. I wonder how the transfers are doing. I've heard little about their progress. I know the big guy, Al maybe, has been throwing fights. That's stupid. He's big enough to kick all the transfers' asses if he really wanted to. Tris was the first jumper but I bet she's not doing so well. She's so small and weak. Why would anyone from Abnegation think they could hack it in Dauntless? As long as four of them are ranked lower than me I'll be safe.

I see a future for myself in Dauntless now. At the Choosing Ceremony I just did what was expected of me. I was wandering through life without consideration for what happened to me an hour in the future, much less years. Now I have something to stick around for. Marlene. I glance over at her. She's sitting at a small table with her mom. I can see the similarities in their faces. I notice that the Pedrads are at the next bench over and feel a pang of jealousy for Uriah. Then I remember yesterday and smile. Marlene was with me, not Uriah.

"So, have you met anyone special?" my mom inquires.

"Gah Mom," I say. "It's not all about that!"

"You're lying!" Shauna accuses and wags her finger in my face. "There is someone! I can see it in your face."

"Well aren't you just a perfect little lie detector. Sure you joined the right faction, Candor?" I tease.

"Well, tell me all about him" Mom pries.

"If you're going to talk about all this girly stuff then I'm leaving!" Hector huffs. He runs off towards the paths up the pit. Mom chases after him.

I'm saved by Hector! I'll have to remember to thank him later. Shauna chuckles.

"So, you've met someone?"

"Well, sorta, more like reconnected. We just can't get any time to ourselves."

"I remember hating that about initiation. It was when I finally started to notice Zeke. I tried to get him alone so many times but we were always getting walked in on. We eventually found a stock room but it wasn't ideal."

I have her sympathy, now's the time to use it to my advantage.

"You know, we could really use some time alone. Uh," I bite my lower lip, "could I use your apartment one day while you're out?"

"You want to turn my apartment into your little love nest?" Shauna chides me as she punches my upper arm.

"Well, can I?"

"Can you what?" She's going to make me say it.

"Can I use your apartment to get some?" I spit the question out in a loud whisper. It's stupid to worry that someone will hear our conversation over the din of the families reuniting in the pit.

Shauna laughs. "Well, since you put it that way, sure! Tomorrow there's a little outing. It's a tradition. You come to that and I'll give you my spare key at the bottom." Shauna stops quickly, realizing that she's revealed too much.

"At the bottom?"

"Never mind what I said. You come tomorrow and I'll give you a key. I'll be busy all day so you should have a few good hours to get your cherry popped."

I huff, if only she knew.

"Well I should get back. Our rankings should be up soon." I'm lying. Lauren already told us that we'll be ranked after dinner. I just don't want to continue this conversation in case I give too much away.

"Ok, good luck in the next stage. Four's leading it. He's a good guy. If you need anything just ask and let him know I sent you."

What? Moody Four is helpful? Shauna is nuts I think as I return to the dormitory. I'm alone but not for long. Marlene has followed me.

"So, have a good visit with your family?" She comes up behind me and wraps her arms around my neck. The fingertips of her right hand graze my left breast. My nipple notices.

I nod. I should share with her what I learned. I turn around in her arms. "There's something happening tomorrow, some sort of initiation tradition, Shauna told me."

"Cool." She lowers her arms to my waist and pulls me closer. I feel a warmth between my legs. It's as if she's emanating heat. "You know, I've been thinking a lot about last night."

"And," I raise my right eyebrow.

"I'd like to do it again sometime," she leans in and kisses me.

I return the kiss softly. I want to ravage her but worry that it will scare her away. I kiss her in little nips, teasing her. She huffs and kisses me deeply. Her tongue begs for entrance and I allow it. My hands hold either side of her head, pulling her closer. I am so preoccupied that I almost don't hear the footsteps.

Luckily, Marlene does and she ends our kiss. My lips are instantly cold where hers once touched them.

Uriah bounds through the door.

"There you are," he says in Marlene's direction. "Well Lynn, you seem to be feeling better!" Uriah says.

"Yeah, Marlene took really good care of me yesterday. I don't know what got into me but I'm over it now."

"Are you up for an adventure?" Uriah is always up to something.

"Right now?" I ask. Right now I'm up for an adventure with Marlene but it doesn't look like that's an option.

"No, tomorrow. C'mon let's go get something to eat and I'll tell you all about it." Uriah puts his fist on his hip and holds out his arm for Marlene to grasp. She does but then quickly holds her hand out for mine. We walk like that all the way to the dining hall.

"Ya know Lynn, it's nice to have you back. What the fuck was wrong with you?"

"Uriah!" Marlene is trying to protect me.

"I just was confused Uriah, didn't know what I wanted and was taking it out on everyone around me."

"So, ya got everything figured out?"

"I sure do," I reply as I squeeze Marlene's hand. She returns the movement and I smile.

"Good."

We separate to enter the doors to the dining hall. After we each gather our food we meet at a table near the corner of the room. It's close to the transfer initiates but it's the only one available. Uriah leans in and starts, softly. "So, tomorrow we're supposed to meet in the hall off of the pit."

"Where are we going?" Marlene asks.

"Dunno, Zeke wouldn't say, but I'm sure it will be perilous, you sure you girls want to come?"

"We're not girls, we're women!" Marlene punches Uriah's arm and smiles. I feel another twinge. Jealousy again and look away from them. I glance over at the Tris' table. I pick up bits and pieces of their conversation. They're talking about the Aptitude test. I guess the loud dining hall makes them brave enough to break the rules.

"Hey Lynn, I thought you were back with us," Uriah says to reel me back into the conversation.

"Yeah, here."

"Well, you in?"

"I'll be there!" Wild dogs couldn't keep me away from whatever is happening tomorrow. I have to get that spare key.


	8. Chapter 8

**Once again, I don't own Divergent. **

**The idea for the tattoos comes from the Ewan McGregor movie "The Pillow Book" where Vivian Wu's character gets off on having Japanese characters written on her body. I highly recommend it but must warn you, there's a lot of sex and nudity, even full frontal guys and that is a rarity. Also, most of it is subtitled. **

**The smut is going to be thick in this one. You've been forewarned. **

**And guys, follow closely. Herein lies a roadmap to a very elusive organ. Your current/future girlfriends and/or wives can thank me later. **

* * *

I wake up before the rest of my fellow initiates. I have to talk to Marlene alone. I'm going to invite her to spend the afternoon with me and I hope she'll say yes. An empty bed separates her bunk from mine and I find myself watching her sleep. She really is beautiful.

Someone behind me starts to stir and I can just see them out of the corner of my eye. As the person gets closer I can see that it's Uriah. He leans over Marlene's sleeping body, tickles her side, and yells, "Wake up sleepyhead! We've got to get ready for our adventure!"

Who wants to wake up like that? I let out a disapproving groan that was apparently louder than I intended. Uriah turns around to find the source of the noise. I quickly fake a stretch that could accompany my groan.

It's going to be impossible to talk to Marlene when Uriah is around.

Marlene grabs her toothbrush and toothpaste and heads off to the bathroom. I seize the opportunity to have her alone and follow with my own toiletries. She's already brushing her teeth when I get to the bathroom. She sees me in the mirror and she smiles around her toothbrush.

"So, uh, if you wanted to continue where we left off the other night," I pause and wait for approval to continue. She nods.

I am so nervous and stayed up half the night trying to figure out how I was going to ask her this. My planned soliloquy goes out the window and I spit out. "IaskedShaunaifwecoulduseherapartmentthisafternoon."

Marlene takes the toothbrush out of her mouth and asks "What?" with her mouth still full of foam.

Shit. I've moved too fast. She's not going to spend the afternoon with me. I turn to leave and mutter, "never mind, I thought you'd wan-"

She grabs my wrist to stop me. "No really, what did you say. I couldn't understand it."

I have a chance to redeem myself, I open my mouth, and it all comes out. "At Visiting Day yesterday Shauna asked me if I'd met anyone. I told her that I was reconnecting with someone but we hadn't really had any alone time. She agreed to let me borrow her apartment for the afternoon so we could spend some time together. She thinks you're a guy and I didn't correct her." I stare at the floor as I speak. Marlene spits the toothpaste out of her mouth and brings a handful of water up to rinse. She swishes, spits, and turns around.

"Lynn, I want you to ask me again and this time I want you to mean it."

Mean it, what is she talking about? It's as if she can read my thoughts, "yes, I want you to ask me again but don't be so timid."

I walk to her and look up into her green eyes. I take her hand in mine and say "Marlene would you like to spend the afternoon with me?"

"Yes, Lynn, I would love to spend the afternoon with you in your sister's bed." She winks and I melt. "What time?"

"I dunno. Depends on how long the activity takes."

"Let's plan on 2 unless the activity runs later. I'll meet you at Shauna's." She gives me a peck on the cheek and practically skips back to the dorm.

I get in the shower and think of all the things I need to do to make this afternoon perfect. I'm glad I brought my razor. I shave my legs. It takes a while because I've neglected my grooming during initiation. When I get out of the shower I drop my towel and stand on my tiptoes to examine myself in the mirror over the sinks. Not bad, I think. I run my hands over my hips then lower. I tug on the hair between my legs. I really need to trim that, clean her up, and make her presentable. I smirk. I grab my things, and head back to the shower to do just that.

When I get back to the dorm I pack a bag for this afternoon. I grab a change of clothes, making sure to get my tightest wife beater and the boy cut underwear that I love so much. I also grab stuff for a shower. I don't know what the activity is and I don't want to be a sweaty mess before we even get started. I stuff an extra towel in my bag in case Marlene needs to shower. I pause and consider grabbing a change of clothes for her but that feels like an invasion of her privacy so I don't. I head out to the pit with my backpack slung over my shoulder.

As soon as I get to the dining hall I realize that I took too long getting ready and I've missed breakfast. I find Uriah and Marlene talking at a table and pick off of their plates. Zeke told Uriah that we're supposed to meet in a hallway off of the pit at noon. My knee bobs under the table with nervous energy. What am I going to do until then?

I watch the clock for the next two hours. I left a little early so I could grab something to eat before the activity. I'm going to need my energy later. At noon a crowd develops. I notice a lot of Shauna & Zeke's friends. That must be where we're meeting. I follow them. I don't see Uriah anywhere but Marlene is there and talking to Zeke. We start down a hall and someone opens a door. It's a dark stairwell that seems to go on forever. I eventually start to see daylight and we're out at street level.

In typical Dauntless fashion, we hop a train and we're off. Dauntless initiates and members fill the car. I scan the crowd and find Uriah. The blonde transfer is with him, Tris. They're talking to Shauna and I overhear something about Four. I use the train ride to scarf down my sandwich. I shove the wrapper down in my bag and get ready to jump off the train. We're in an area of the city I've never been to. It's abandoned and we're all running up to this massive tower of steel and glass. Holy shit. Shauna's words resonate in my head, at the bottom. What are we about to do?!

I can't think about it. I have to complete whatever task they're going to give us so I can get that key. Dauntless pour into the lobby of the building. I continue to think about what Marlene & I are going to do this afternoon. I am completely distracted as I follow the sea of black. We separate at the elevators. I'm thinking about Marlene's face as she came as I file into the elevator. Suddenly I hear a grunt. I snap out of it and catch a nasty look from Tris. Apparently I stepped on her foot. All I can think about is getting that key.

The elevator doors close and I realize we're not moving. I'm in front if the number panel so I ask, "What floor?" and look around. There are only initiates on this elevator.

Tris answers, "One hundred." She sounds like a little know it all.

"How would _you_ know that?"

Uriah chides me, "Lynn, come on, be nice."

"We're in a one-hundred-story abandoned building with some Dauntless."

She really is a little snot. I jab at the button for the hundredth floor. I need to calm down. I've got a big afternoon planned and this little bitch is not going to take that from me! I must get that key.

A gust of wind hits me as soon as we get off of the elevator. Zeke is climbing a rickety aluminum ladder through a hole in the roof. Holy fucking shit. What are we about to do? In my head I repeat the phrase that has become my mantra, must get the key, must get the key.

Once I get up the ladder I start to piece together what's going to happen. There's a huge cable that runs from the top of the building to a place on the ground that I can't see. There are heavy canvas slings piled up below them. We're going to jump off of this building. Must get the key.

I look over at Uriah. Usually I can find Marlene beside him but this time it's Tris. Maybe Tris likes him. That would be awesome because then Uriah will leave Marlene alone.

Shauna is the first person to go off the building. As I watch her I cling to my backpack like it's a security blanket. How am I going to get it down with me. I watch Zeke shove person after person off the side of the building. Some scream, some hoot, but eventually their voices fade. How far does this thing go? Must get the key.

Finally it's my turn. Zeke hooks up a sling and motions for me to give him my backpack. "I'll get this to you once we get back to the compound."

"No!" I say. It comes out a bit more sternly than I intended. "It goes where I go."

"I'm worried I won't get the sling tight enough around you with the backpack on but it's your life."

I decide to get in the sling headfirst and stomach down. That way the straps are tightened over the backpack and, hopefully I won't slip out. I get close to the edge. Zeke's going to have to push me. There's no way I can run off of this building, no matter how badly I want that key.

I feel the whip of the straps as my weight settles in the sling. I am flying through the air. I remember how the Dauntless on the roof laughed at the people that were screaming but I don't care. I scream as loudly as my voice will allow. Eventually the shock wears off and I realize that this is actually fun. I smile is plastered on my face as I slow down and see what Shauna meant by "at the bottom." There's a sea of arms waiting to catch me. I just flew down a cable carried by fabric no thicker than that of my backpack, and all I can think of is finding Shauna and getting that key. I jerk the straps to release myself and plummet into their awaiting arms.

My eyes dart around. Standing just beyond the mass of people is my sister. She has a devious look on her face and is holding up a shiny gold key. I run over to her and grab it out of her hands before anyone sees it.

"A little eager aren't you sis. So, is he here?"

"No!" I say tersely. It's not a lie. _He_ isn't here.

"Hmmm, so that means he's either a transfer or scared of heights?"

I give her a look that says I'm not telling you a single fucking thing. She gets the message and shuts up.

As soon as we get back from zip lining I run down the hall to Shauna's apartment. I only have a short time to get everything ready. I fit the key into the lock. It's a one bedroom and not as bleak as you'd expect from a home deep in a cave. I put down my bag on the counter and notice a note.

_Lynn-_

_I have a few rules for you:_

_#1: You both have to shower first if you're going to use my bed. I don't want some sweaty stranger grunting in my sheets._

_#2: Speaking of sheets, please be kind and toss them in the washer when you're done. I'm not sleeping in anyone else's wet spot._

_#3: Don't bleed on my sheets. I'm assuming you know what I'm talking about. Use a towel or something._

_#4: For G-d's sake use a condom. You don't want to get knocked up your first time. There's a box in the top drawer of my bedside table if he's not prepared._

_#5: This is a one-time thing. The door to the stockroom I told you about is down the same hall we used to get out of the compound today. The door code is 3825*. Use it well._

_#6: Have fun little sis!_

_-Shauna_

I chuckle at her assumptions. I wonder how she would react if she knew it was Marlene that I was meeting instead of some guy. I'd hope she would be accepting. I think she would. I'm not sure about my mom. She's always ranting about people that are even the slightest bit different, and don't get her started on the Divergent. Apparently those people are responsible for everything that's wrong in her world.

My first stop is the bedroom. Shauna has outdone herself. The bed is made in deep purple sheets. I run my hand over a pillowcase and can see why Shauna is so concerned about her sheets. They're the softest fabric I've ever touched. Candles cover the bedside tables and dresser. The top drawer on the left side table is slightly open and I'm sure she did it intentionally to signal that that's where the condoms were. I close the drawer and think, won't be needing those.

The bathroom is off of the bedroom. I get out my shampoo and body wash and out them in the shower. I hang the clean towels on the hook just outside. I grab two washcloths and put them on the shower ledge. Shauna has a nice shower. It's a glass cube, not as small as the ones in the dormitory bathroom. It will fit the two of us nicely. I go back into the bedroom and start to light the candles that Shauna left out for us. Just as I'm lighting the last one I hear a knock on the door.

I run to the door and swing it open. There stands Marlene. She's casually leaning against the doorframe. She's wearing a pair of black leggings and a long tank that's belted at the waist. I grab her arm and pull her in the apartment, slamming the door behind her.

"Are you ashamed of me?" she teases. "Am I your dirty little secret?"

"No, I just don't want to announce it to everyone!"

"Getting ready to fuck is not written on my ass or anything. Anyone walking by would just see a friend visiting another friend. You're too uptight Lynn. Let's see if we can work on that." She puts her long arms around me, pulls me close, and gives me a long soft kiss. "Well, you've got me here, now what are you going to do with me?"

"Well, Shauna left me a list of rules. She wants us to shower first."

"Oh, I do love to watch you shower."

I open the bedroom door and Marlene gasps. It is really pretty. The candlelight reflected off of the mirror over the dresser dances on the stone wall behind the bed. It gives warmth to the room. "The bathroom is just through here."

We get into the bathroom and Marlene hoists herself on the counter by the sink. "So, she left us rules. What's on the agenda?"

"Nothing really, just take a shower first, don't make a mess, wash the sheets, have fun, stuff like that."

"Come here." She holds her hands out. I walk over to her and she kisses me again.

All the apprehension leaves me as soon as I'm in her arms. Our kisses start soft and quickly get deeper. Her lips part to give my tongue entry. As we kiss I start to undress her. First I remove her belt. I rub my hands up her bare back as I lift her shirt. Our kiss breaks and she lifts her arms to allow me to remove her shirt. She isn't wearing a bra and doesn't need to. Her perky breasts are small but perfect. Her nipples are nothing like mine. They're small and pink. I resist the urge to take one in my mouth.

"At this rate we're never going to get in the shower." Marlene says as she ties her long hair into a knot on her head before kicking off her shoes slipping down her pants. She leans in and turns the water on. I stare, taking her body in. She is gorgeous. She's taller than me by about 6 inches. Her legs and arms are long and toned. I am one lucky woman. She holds her hand under the stream of water and when it's to her liking, she steps into the shower.

"You coming?"

I quickly strip my clothes off, leaving them in a pile on the floor and join her in the shower. She lathers up a washcloth and hands it to me. "Wash my back, will ya."

She leans up against the shower wall and I stand behind her. I begin to wash her back. I reach around her with my left hand and steady her against my body. I scrub her back and then move around to the front. I forgo the washcloth and let my hands glide over her skin. I cup her breasts and her tiny nipples harden.

She looks over her shoulder and stares into my eyes. "I want it like you were giving it to yourself in the shower."

My right hand strokes her stomach on its way down her body. My left hand squeezes her right breast. She lets out a gasp as I find her clit. I'm gentle at first but speed up as she begins to moan. I'm rubbing her clit harder and harder. I'm holding her so tight that it pushes her ass back into me. She starts to pant and I rub harder. I hate that I can't watch her face but we have time for that later. Suddenly she turns, ripping my hand away from her clit.

"Take me to bed."

That's all she had to say. I jerk the nozzle to turn the water off so fast and hard that it's a wonder it didn't come off in my hand. I grab the towels and hand her one. We wrap them around her body and begin kissing ravenously. Our lips never part as we make our way to the bed. I sit at the top between the pillows and she straddles my lap facing me.

"Now where was I?" I feign ignorance as I try to remember what we were doing.

Marlene doesn't take to my game. She grabs my right hand and brings it to her. "You were right here."

"Was I now?" I tease her opening with two fingers. She quickly lowers herself on them. I gasp as they disappear inside her.

Marlene starts to ride my hand. Her breasts bob in my face. I quickly find a nipple with my lips. I circle it with my tongue. I watch as it hardens before taking it into my mouth. I suck on her as if my life depended on it. I find her clit again with the thumb of my free hand. I just place pressure on it as she continues to ride me. Her breaths are coming in staccato now.

My fingers find a fleshy mound inside her sex. I notice that her moans are stronger when I hit this particular part of her body. I thrust my fingers deep inside her and focus on this area. I keep rubbing it over and over, varying the amount of pressure. Soon she is screaming, "Oh-my-fucking-G-d! What are you doing to me woman?!" She raises up on her knees, trying to get away from the intense pressure, but I won't relent. I wrap my left arm around her back and over left shoulder and force her down on my hand. I won't let up. Her eyes widen and her mouth opens as if she's going to scream but all that comes out is an animalistic groan. Her body goes limp, her eyes close, and I slip out of her.

"Uh, Marlene, were you expecting something?"

She gives me a puzzled look. "Expecting-"

I hold up my hand to reveal blood. Her face goes white and tears well up in her eyes.

"No, that can't be. I just had it not even two weeks ago."

Suddenly I think back to Shauna's letter and then further back to my first time and I realize what I've done.

"So, you've never been with Uriah?"

"What do you mean?"

"You were a virgin."

"Were?"

"Yep," I hold up my bloody fingers. "Were."

She's embarrassed. I lift her chin with the clean fingers of my left hand and kiss her lips. "Don't be ashamed babe. Come with me. I'll help you get cleaned up."

I lead her to Shauna's bathroom and I can't help but think about how our roles had reversed. It was just two days ago that she led me out of the bathroom in our dormitory. First I wash my hands and then I get a washcloth. I lift her leg and place it on the toilet to expose her. I wash the blood from her upper thighs and clean her gently. She jerks.

"Did I hurt you?"

"Hurt me? No, I'm just still really sensitive. Why?"

"My first time hurt like hell. Gabe just ripped into me without warning and my cunt throbbed for days. I couldn't live with myself if I did that to you."

Marlene places her hand on my chin and brings my face up to meet hers. She kisses me passionately and whispers, "No, there was no pain. You made me feel better than I ever thought I could feel."

Marlene follows me back to the bed and we get under the covers. I'm laying on my stomach and she curls up to my back. I feel her fingers tracing the ink in my skin. I shiver as I think if what my fingers were doing to her earlier.

"So," Marlene says in a whisper, "tattoos. When did that happen?"

I grimace and am glad that she can't see my face. My tattoos are how I coped with the past year. There were times when I was so emotionally exhausted that I couldn't feel anything. I would contemplate suicide but didn't have the energy to carry out any of my plans. I decided one night that I wanted to feel something, anything, even if it was pain. That's when I started picking fights. Eventually my body became immune to the pounding of fists and I started seeking pain elsewhere. One night during last year's initiation I overheard one of the transfers in the dining hall. She was talking about her new tattoo and how much it hurt because it was so close to the bone. I saw the bandage peeking out at the nape of her neck. That night I got my first tattoo. Tori had a book of ancient characters, pictures that symbolized words. She called them Kanji. I picked out a word for something that was missing in my life, happiness.

"I started last year. One night I just wanted to feel something, anything, even if it was pain. I heard that it really hurt to get a tattoo there so I did."

"You had this whole thing done in one night?"

"No. Just the first one, here," I reach around and touch the first symbol at the top of my spine with the fingers of my right hand."

"What is it?"

"It's writing, Kanji. The top one says 'happiness'. I thought if I put it on my body I would feel it."

She kisses the first character. "And the rest?"

"Every time I wanted to hurt myself I got a tattoo instead." I'm glad I can't see her face. I'm sure it's full of pity.

"No, what do they mean?"

"Well after happiness there's strength." Kiss.

"Then hope." She crawls on top of me. Her legs straddle mine and she leans over. Kiss.

"And loyalty." Her nipples graze my back and she lowers herself slowly. Pausing to kiss each tattoo as I tell her its meaning.

"Power." Kiss. Lower. I can feel her wetness on the backs of my thighs. That's new since I cleaned her up.

"Faith." Kiss.

"Freedom." Kiss.

"Luck." Kiss.

"Patience." Kiss.

"Beauty." Kiss.

"You're missing one."

I look at her quizzically.

"Love."

"But I'm out of room."

"You'll just have to use the other side." She grabs my hips and flips me over. Her head is just below my waist. She continues her soft kisses lower.

"You don't have to," I say as I turn her head up so I can look into her eyes.

"I know. I _want_ to." She smiles, the right side of her mouth higher than the left. She's perfected the flirtatious smile. "Please help me give you what you just gave me."

She uses her shoulders to spread my legs and wraps her hands under my ass, pulling me towards her. My wet lips feel cold as they open but soon I feel her hot breath on me. I shudder. I'm glad I took the time to trim today. She nuzzles my mound. I instinctively rock my hips to be closer to her mouth.

She spreads me with her tongue and then focuses on my clit. She was timid at first, gentle even. Her tongue was soft. I started kneading my breasts and fingering my nipples. As our breathing gets harder so does her tongue. She's going faster and licking down my slit. As she dips down to enter me with her tongue her top teeth hit my nub. "Teeth!" I cry. That moment of pain causes a rumble to go over me.

"Oh shit, sorry."

"No, more." I confess.

She begins to nibble, soft love bites, all over my sex. Through my pants I manage to get out, "I need you, inside."

She places two fingers inside me. Her hand is palm up and she begins to thrust. She licks me each time she enters me.

"More!"

She places another finger inside but I still want more.

"More! Like this," I reach down and position her four fingers at my opening. I fold her thumb across her palm. I want her hand inside me. I pull at her as she enters me. My back arches and a moan escapes my mouth.

Marlene pumps in and out of me. She raises up on her left elbow for leverage. Her tongue is firm against my clit.

"Suck it."

She sucks my clit into her mouth and it grazes her teeth. My ass rises off the bed and she climbs to her knees to stay with me, her mouth never falters. She sucks my clit in and out of her mouth with just the right amount of teeth. Her hand continues to pump in and out of me. Wet sounds fill the room. I start to scream, "yes, yes, yes, yes!" I thrust my hips to meet her hand. Faster, faster, faster. She pounds into me. I tighten around her and she can't move. The orgasm comes slowly, in pulses at first as I rock my hips. As it washes over me a guttural moan starts in the back of my throat. I collapse on the bed. Marlene looks up at me from between my legs. Her chin is covered with my juices and she smiles, proud of herself.

"How'd I do." That damn flirtatious smile again.

"You have to ask?!"

"I think you liked it," she starts to climb up to me on her hands and knees.

She lowers her face to mine. I close my eyes in preparation for her kiss but she teases me instead with little nips. Finally I grab her head and force her lips to mine. The kiss is sloppy and greedy. I taste myself in it. I am both sweet and salty. I roll her over onto her back and continue kissing her. When we stop I simply say, "thank you."

"You're welcome," she says sleepily.

* * *

**We're halfway through my outline. I've made some changes along the way but it looks like we're going to make it!**


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm working on two one shots for this chapter. The first one shot from Four's perspective is up now!**

* * *

Stage two of initiation is still a mystery. I don't like not knowing what's coming next. Now we're just sitting in a hallway. Uriah separates me from Marlene. He's been doing that all day. Could he know? No, there's no way. We were discreet. My mind wanders to yesterday. I start to smile just as Four comes down the hall. My smile quickly fades. He explains that he will be leading this stage of initiation and we are no longer going to be separated from the transfers as he lets himself into a room off of the hallway.

Once Four has closed the door I look up at Tris. "So, which one of you is ranked first, huh?" I had heard about the events of last night. One of the Candors stabbed one of the Erudites in the eye with a butter knife to get ahead in the rankings.

"Me," Peter's eyes confess his crime.

"Bet I could take you. I'm second but I bet any of us could take you, transfer." I spit out the word transfer and mean it as an insult.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, if I were you," Peter says. "Who's first?"

I nod Uriah's direction as I answer, "Uriah." Then I turn towards Peter, glaring, "And I am sure. You know how many years we've spent preparing for this?"

The door opens and there is Four. He calls my name and I enter the room. In the center of the room sits the same chair that I sat in for my aptitude test. I don't want to show any signs of apprehension so I walk directly to the chair and sit down. Four starts explaining that this is a simulation and he's going to inject me with a transmitter that will connect my brain to a computer. He'll be able to see everything that is produced by my brain. I will be stuck in the simulation until I am able to calm my heart rate and respirations down to a normal level. Seems easy enough.

I bare my neck to Four and he injects me with the serum. The simulation takes control. I look around. I am in a small room that contains only a desk. One wall is full of screens. This doesn't look like any place I've been before. The room is full of people. I turn to ask one of them a question but they are all paying attention to a small screen at the bottom right of the wall. I lean in to get a closer look. On the screen is a video of Marlene and me yesterday. Her head is buried between my legs. In private I would have reveled in the beauty of this act but I am not in private. All of these people are going to find out! One of the guys messes with a keyboard and the video enlarges until it fills every screen on the wall. Marlene and I are there, larger than life, for everyone to see. My moans and the wet noises fill the room at full volume, reverberating against the walls. My heart starts to race and I start to sweat. I can't catch my breath. I turn quickly and find myself face to face with Gabe, the first guy I ever slept with. He gives me a disgusting grin. Out of the corner of my eye I see a flash of blue. It's the Erudite guy that I had sex with in the janitor's closet at the start of the school year. I realize that I am stuck in this tiny room with every man I've ever let fuck me and they're all watching what Marlene was doing to me. I retreat and stand there with my back up against the wall. They start to scream. Someone starts talking about the noises I'm making. I am mortified. All I can think about are the fourteen men. They all know what Marlene and I did last night. They're going to tell everyone! I collapse and wrap my arms around my knees. I start to cry and rock, "no one can know, no one can know."

Suddenly I am back in the room at Dauntless headquarters. I feel Four's eyes on me, judging me. I run for the door. Once I'm in the hallway I slow down. I haven't been paying attention to where I was going and have reached the end of a hallway. I crouch down and wrap my arms around my knees just as I did in the simulation. I bury my face into my jeans as I sob. I love Marlene and I'm not ashamed of that but I am scared of what people will think.

I have to snap out of this. The rest of the initiates cannot see me as weak, especially Peter. That sick fuck can smell fragility. I pull myself together. Marlene and I are supposed to meet after we're done with training today. That thought is enough to calm my sobs. I stand up and get my bearings before heading back to the dormitory. I need to wash my face and change my clothes. I also need to remember a washcloth to put on the doorknob.

* * *

I find the doorway with the keypad and look over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't followed. I quickly punch in the code, 3825*. I open the door and hook the washcloth around the lever. The room is dark, I hate the dark. I clamp my eyes shut and fumble around for a light switch. Before I can find one there are lips on mine. Deep, hungry kisses. I inhale and smile. I know that smell, it's Marlene. Before I can make another move she has pushed me up against the wall. Her hands are frantic. I help her remove my shirt because, if I hadn't, I think she would have ripped it off of me.

Her kisses travel down my neck as she tears off my bra. I try to pull her shirt over her head. She grabs my hands and holds them above my head. Forceful, I like it. She starts to bite at my neck. One hand holds my own above my head and the other grabs at my belt. She adeptly unbuttons and unzips my pants before slipping her hand in my underwear. She quickly finds my clit and I try to spread my legs for her but my pants are too tight. She releases my arms and I quickly push down my pants and underwear to give her more room. With no warning she slams four fingers into me. I gasp. I reach out for her again and she pushes my hands off. I want to touch her so badly.

Marlene stops and puts a finger to my lips. "This time is for you. There will be time for me later," she says sternly.

I enjoy this powerful side of Marlene and quickly comply. I push my palms into the wall on either side of my body. She returns her attention to my clit. She presses it with her left thumb and starts to move in circles. The fingers of her right hand are still buried in my cunt. She pumps in and out of me. Soon I am moaning but I am not alone. Marlene is enjoying herself too. She kisses me again, pausing to suck on my lower lip. My hands ache to touch her and I press them harder into the wall. She leans her body into mine. Her hips thrust with her hand. She's good at that. I wonder if she would ever wear a strap on. That thought pushes me over the edge. My body goes rigid and I scream with pleasure. She doesn't stop. She rides out my orgasm and slows the pace of her fingers. My body jerks each time her thumb passes over my clit. Eventually she slips her fingers out of me. I feel empty.

"Thank you," I exhale.

She kisses me softly and says, "my pleasure."

I tentatively raise my hands to her waist. She allows me to remove her shirt and we switch places, her back is now to the wall. She's not wearing a bra. I kiss her collarbone and cup her breasts in my hands. My thumbs quickly find her nipples. They are already hard. I lower my head and suck one into my mouth. I push her pants over her hips. My kisses follow the path down her stomach as I crouch before her. I help her slip out of her shoes and pants. I spread her legs with my hands. I wish I could see her like this, naked and waiting. I silently curse the dark. I slowly kiss her stomach and continue to move lower. My lips work their way down and I lift her thigh onto my shoulder. I nuzzle her cunt and exhale deeply before I dive in with my tongue. I start at the bottom of her slit and spread her lips with my tongue. Her hair tickles my nose. I lick from her opening up to her clit. I repeat this over and over, putting more and more pressure on her clit as I continue. Marlene puts her hands on either side of my head. My hair is too short to grab so she uses my ears to force my face into her. I focus on her clit and her grip tightens. I lick her over and over before taking her clit into my mouth. I alternate between licking and sucking. Marlene's grip on my head is so strong that my ears are ringing but not so loudly that it masks her grunts. I can tell she's close. I suck her clit into my mouth and flick it over and over with my tongue. I feel her entire body tighten and then release with a loud moan.

Marlene pulls me to my feet by my head. She wraps her arms around my waist and kisses me. We stay there in each other's arms, silent, until our breathing returns to normal. We feel around for our clothes and get dressed. She has lost her underwear in the dark. I search for the light switch again. Once I find it I click it up and down without any results. We feel around on the floor but we are searching in vain in a dark room for, what is sure to be, black underwear.

"Nevermind them Lynn. Let's get to the dining hall. I've worked up an appetite."

Marlene and I leave the storeroom arm in arm. To a passerby we would appear to be good friends but anyone paying attention would see the blush of sex on our faces, lips, and chests.


	10. Chapter 10

Over the past three days I have watched my teeth and hair fall out, been hunted like an animal, and drowned. Each day is worse than the one before. The only redeeming part of the second stage of initiation has been the afternoons I spend with Lynn. We replaced the light bulb in the stockroom. She found an air mattress on one of the shelves and I brought in a few blankets.

Uriah has been paying me more attention. I haven't kissed him since that awkward moment at Zeke's. I think he is suspecting that there's something going on between Lynn and me. He is constantly trying to interject himself into our conversations and wants to hang out each afternoon. I'm running out of excuses. He's going to begin to think all I do is eat, nap, or shower.

Uriah is in the simulation now. He has asked that I meet him after I have gone through mine and I agreed. Lynn glared at me when she heard that I was meeting him. She shouldn't worry. We'll still have our afternoon together.

Four calling my name brings me back from my thoughts. I walk into the room and assume my position in the chair. My finger instinctively moves to my mouth and I begin to chew my nail. What will I face today?

I wince as Four injects me with the serum. He turns his face towards mine and there is almost a look of remorse in his dark eyes. In a few seconds the look is gone and so am I.

I find myself bobbing in the middle of a large lake. I am wearing a life vest. I can barely make out the shoreline. There's no way I can swim to safety. I am helpless. I see something out of the corner of my eye. It's the top of a large fish just breaking the surface of the water. They are swimming all around me. Then I feel something brush against my ankle. I panic. My arms and legs are thrashing. Disgusting, slimy fish continue to swim around my legs. I close my eyes and try to ignore them. Eventually it must work because I am able to calm myself down and the simulation ends.

Uriah is waiting in the hall for me when I walk out.

"You ok?"

"Yeah. This is just getting to me. How do you do it?"

"It's my charm, I can get through anything." He winks and wraps his arm around my waist.

I have the feeling he's hiding something but I choose to ignore it.

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Demanding, aren't we?"

He hits me with his hip, knocking me off balance. He catches me in his arms as I start to fall and plants his lips on mine. I return his kiss and instantly feel a pang of guilt in my chest. Lynn and I have never discussed our relationship or exclusivity so technically I am not cheating on her. Still, it doesn't lessen my shame.

Uriah wraps arms around my low back and pulls me to him.

"C'mon Mar, you've been so distant these past few days. What's going on?"

"It's just the simulations. They're getting to me. I'm not sleeping as well."

"Well you know what always helps me sleep?"

"What's that?"

"A good orgasm," he says, grinning. He presses the length of his body into me and I can't help but compare it to Lynn. Uriah is so tall and his strong muscled arms feel good around me.

"Is that so?" I tease and nip at his lips.

"Can we try again? Somewhere else?"

"What did you have in mind?" I give him my best flirtatious smile.

"I'll show you," he says as he takes my hand and walks me down the hall.

Uriah leads me directly to the storeroom where Lynn and I have been spending our afternoons.

"How did you find this place?" I ask nervously. Has he followed me?

"Zeke told me about it. He and Shauna used to sneak off here when they were initiates."

Uriah pins me to the door and kisses me deeply. His strength turns me on. His hands run down my body and stop behind my thighs. In one swift motion he has lifted me and my legs are around my waist. He forces my back into the door and grinds into me. I can feel that he is hard and, unlike last time, I like it. I did that, I think with pride. I quickly enter the code and fumble with the lever on the door. He doesn't ask how I knew it.

As soon as we are through the door we begin tearing frantically at each other's clothes. Our lips part only to remove our shirts. Uriah's skin is so dark and perfect. His body is chiseled and strong. His hands roam my body and eventually settle on my breasts. He pinches my nipples between his calloused fingers. We back up to the air mattress and I sit down, pulling him on top of me.

"Condom," I whisper into his ear.

He turns around and searches through the pockets of his pants. He tears open the package with his teeth and takes out the condom. I help him roll it down his shaft. He pushes me backwards on the mattress. I spread my legs for him and he positions himself at my opening.

"Are you ready?" He asks.

"Uriah, I'm not," I wrap my legs around his hips and force him into me, "a virgin."

"I know." He says, his strokes slow. "'I was in here. I heard you."

"The light bulb, that was you?"

"Yes." He has started to fuck me harder, signaling the end of the conversation.

This is nothing like sex with Lynn. Sex with her was soft, reciprocal. With Lynn we were making love. This was the opposite. Uriah was fucking me. I enjoyed both.

Uriah's thrusts grow irregular and, with one final push, he groans and collapses on top of me.

"Not so fast! You're not done yet." I say as I roll over on top of him. I rise up on my knees and brace myself on his chest. I start to ride him slowly to keep him hard. I sink down onto his shaft and begin to rock my hips. This motion puts the pressure of his pelvic bone on my clit. I grind into him and ride my way to my own orgasm. Then I lower myself on top of him.

We roll over onto our sides. He doesn't slip out of me. I wrap my right leg over his body to allow him room to slowly pump in and out of me.

"I much prefer watching you come to listening to it," he says breathlessly. "Do you think you have another one in you?"

"I do, but I need," I bite my lip. I am scared to tell him what I need. I don't want him to think he's not enough. "My clit, I need you to touch my clit."

"That can be arranged."

He slips out of me and pushes me away so that I'm lying on my right side. He pushes my left leg forward and enters me from behind without warning. I revel in the feeling of fullness. With his left hand he reaches around and finds my clit. His fingers are frantic, lost. I cannot avoid the comparison to Lynn. His calloused fingers are clumsy where hers are soft and skilled. I lower my left hand to join his and show him what I like. My moans encourage him and soon we are climaxing together.

We lie still on the air mattress. I feel him soften and start to slip out of me. He nuzzles my hair out of the way kisses the back of my neck.

"Do you think Lynn would mind if I joined the two of you?" he whispers into my ear.

Just the thought puts a smile on my face. I roll over and kiss him.

"I don't know how she would feel but I would love that idea," I tell him as I wrap my arms around him. "We're supposed to meet in here later this afternoon. I'll talk to her then."

Uriah and I lie there listening to each other breathe until I think I am going to fall asleep. Instead I get up, get dressed, and force him to do the same. We file out of the storeroom together, our fingers interlocked. I don't know how I'm going to make this work but I love Uriah and Lynn. We release hands as we near the pit.

"I'll see you at dinner, I need to go get a shower." I say to Uriah as I jog off in the direction of the dormitory.


	11. Chapter 11

The simulations drag on. Stage two rankings are weighted heavier than stage one and for good reason. They are breaking us. Nightmares and sobs cloud our sleep. We all act as if we don't hear them. It's the only we can look each other in the eyes in the morning. Our nails are ragged and our cuticles bleed. Instead of emotional preparation, we're experiencing emotional destruction. Each day we wait in the hallway for our turn for annihilation. Marlene, Uriah, Peter, and Tris have gone so far this morning.

"Lynn," Four calls.

I make my way to the room and get in the chair. I can't yet look Four in the eye after he saw my first simulation. He doesn't seem to want to make eye contact so it is easy to avoid. I feel the pinch of the needle and eventually the simulation begins.

I immediately recognize that I am on the roof of Dauntless Headquarters. There is scaffolding that extends out over the edge of the roof. I hate heights. My heart starts to race. I walk to the edge of the roof and try to take calming breaths. Then I hear the screams. I know those voices. Hector and Shauna. Where are they?

I reach the edge of the building and will myself to look over. There are two ropes hanging from either end of the scaffolding. At the end of each rope is one of my siblings. Hector is hanging on so tightly. I can see that his knuckles are white. He is so small, too young to die. Then I look over to Shauna. She is crying and begging for my help. That's when I smell the smoke.

What is burning? I ease myself out on to the scaffolding. I lie on my stomach and peer over. The ropes. The ropes are on fire! They're burning and fast. I will not be able to save Shauna _and_ Hector. I have to choose. I start to panic.

How can I choose between my older sister and younger brother? Hector has so much to live for, he's young, still in school. I envision him taking his Aptitude Test and then I see him at the Choosing Ceremony. I've always assumed he'd choose Dauntless so my visions continue: jumping into the net, the fights, the simulations. That is not something I would wish on my little brother but would I let him die to not have to endure something like this?

My thoughts turn to Shauna. She also has so much to live for. She and Zeke are getting serious. I see myself at their wedding and, thanks to Zeke and Uriah, it's the biggest party Dauntless has ever seen. Then I see Shauna as a pregnant woman. She's so beautiful and happy. The vision progresses and she and Zeke are walking through the pit swinging a wide-eyed toddler between them. How could I choose Hector and deny Shauna this future?

They both continue to scream and beg. I think they have also realized that I cannot save them both.

"Lynn, please, for Zeke! Don't make me leave him. His dad's death almost tore him apart."

"Lynn, Mom needs me!" Hec begs.

If I wait much longer I am going to lose them both. I make my decision, lurch to the right and save my sister. The sister that allowed me to use her apartment, but that is not why I saved her. I saved her because she has placed a larger footprint on this world. She has touched more lives. She's older. More people would hurt in her absence. This is not to say that people don't live Hector but our family will probably be the only ones to truly mourn him. Shauna's death would have a farther reach. Zeke, Uriah, Four, Lauren, her co-workers, our family.

I awake from the simulation and my guilt overcomes me. I bend over, still in the chair, grab my abdomen, and sob. I have to see my family. I know that this is against the rules but fuck the rules. They have been torturing me for days with these simulations.

I walk out in the hall. Marlene and Uriah are waiting there. They stand a little closer than makes me comfortable.

I hear Uriah whisper, "You're going to ask her today, right?" I swear he kisses her earlobe after he finishes speaking.

"Yea," she says to him before quickly reaching out for my hand, "Lynn…"

"Not now Marlene." It comes out surlier than I intended. "I have somewhere to be."

I do have somewhere to be. I _need_ to see my family. I look at my watch. 10:00. I should still be able to catch Shauna before she leaves for work. She works third shift in the Control Room with Zeke but has been picking up extra shifts to cover for Four while he's training initiates.

I knock loudly on her door.

"What's the bug fucking hurry?" She yells as she swings the door open wide.

I throw my arms around her. She initially stiffens at the assault of my grip but then returns the embrace. Her hug feels like home. I am immediately calmed.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

"I picked you and let him die." I wail.

"Let who die?"

"H-H-Hec" I let out between sobs.

"Lynn, it's just a simulation. We're both fine."

"The simulations are getting to me. I'm weak."

"Showing emotion doesn't make you weak. Crying doesn't make you weak. You're not weak Lynn. It means you're human. This gets to everyone. Emotion is what this stage is all about. It's designed to teach you about yourself through your fears. The simulations let you work through the darkest parts of your brain without any consequences."

"It doesn't do anything to ease my guilt! What am I supposed to learn about deciding which one of my siblings plummets to their death off the roof of Dauntless Headquarters?"

"It's not real Lynn. C'mon. Have a seat."

She goes to the kitchen and gets me a cup of coffee. It's hot and sweet and exactly what I need. I curl up on her couch with my legs under me. We haven't sat down and talked like this since before she went through initiation.

"Is there anything else bothering you Lynn?"

I freeze. What does she mean? What does she know?

"Uh, no, not really."

"Nothing else you want to tell me? About another initiate?"

I stare into my cup of coffee to avoid her eyes.

"I know Lynn, you can tell me. I can see you're different. Marlene makes you happy."

My mouth falls open. She knows! How does she know?

"I am going to absofuckinglutely kill Four!"

"Don't, he only confirmed what I already knew."

So he did tell her.

"Confirmed?"

"Yes, mom and I knew you were different from a young age. You weren't a typical girl, not even for Dauntless."

"Mom knows?!" I interrupt.

"Yes, not about Marlene, not about my apartment, or the stockroom, but she knows that you're not straight."

How could they have known before I did? I guess no one knows you better than your family. That's why I never understood the "Faction before Blood" that gets drilled into our heads.

"So, who else knows?"

"Well, Zeke, Uriah, Four, and I know what happened in my apartment. Is that what you're talking about?"

Uriah's name escapes my lips. "How does Uriah know?"

"He went to Zeke, said he suspected something. Zeke tried to tell him he was crazy but Uriah got it out of him."

That explains so much. I start to cry and Shauna pulls my head over into her lap. She's rubbing her hand over my short hair. Taking care of me. My big sister. This is exactly what I needed. Why is family contact during initiation forbidden?

"I don't want to lose her. I'll do anything to keep her, anything."

"You must really love her."

"I do."

I fall asleep, safe in Shauna's apartment, on her couch, with her rubbing my head. Soon she's waking me.

"I have to leave for work. You should go get something to eat. It's almost lunchtime."

"Thanks, for everything."

"It's nothing. That's what sisters are for. Now, get out of here. Don't get caught by Eric. He's fanatical about the whole "Faction before Blood" even when they're one and the same," she says as she nudges me out the door.

I make my way back to the dining hall. I load my tray with a hamburger and fries and set off to find Marlene. We have plans this afternoon and I have something to talk to her about. A quick scan of the crowd and it's easy to find her. Her beautiful long hair is easy to pick out. She's sitting across from Uriah and they are leaning in, either deep in conversation or they don't want anyone else to hear what they're talking about.

I swear I hear, "shh, here she comes" as I walk up to the table.

I slide into my chair next to Marlene. The three of us make small talk until Uriah stands up.

"You ladies have a good time this afternoon," he says with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. "I'm going to see what kind of trouble I can get into." He winks and saunters away.

To anyone else, this wouldn't seem strange but I know that Uriah knows about Mar and me. He knows what we're most likely doing this afternoon and it seems to excite him.

Once Uriah is out of earshot Marlene leans over the table and whispers, "Same time, same place?'

"Of course," I smile.

* * *

**Everyone needs to hear that showing emotion does not equate weakness. Someone reminded me of that this week and I thought I'd pass it along. Thank you. **


	12. Chapter 12

**The smut to storyline ratio here is slightly skewed. I had to make up for the last chapter. I hope you all enjoy it. **

**This is a fabulous point to warn you that if you are not truly "Mature" then you shouldn't read this chapter. **

**Lynn and Marlene's tryst is brought to you by "Drive" by Melissa Ferrick.**

* * *

Of all of us, Uriah seems to be the least affected by the simulations. I don't know if it's his lackadaisical attitude or what. Maybe it's because he can't get sex off his mind. I understand though because anything is better than what we see in the simulations.

I'm the first to go through the simulation today. I had to give a speech in front of all of Dauntless. It was torturous. I can still feel where I dug my nails into my palms during the simulation. It amazes me that there are no marks on my hands. It all feels so real.

As I'm leaving the simulation room I hear Four call Uriah's name and I smile. I wait for him in the hall. It will give us a little time to ourselves. After about 10 minutes Uriah comes bounding out the door, wraps his arms around my waist, and pins me up against the wall with his lips.

"Who's next on the list?" I ask between kisses. I can gauge how much uninterrupted time we will have based on who is following us.

"Tris."

My expression says it all. I am not pleased. Tris sails through the simulations. It takes her a quarter of the time it takes the rest of us. I don't know how she does it.

"Then we'll have to be fast." Uriah's hands move down and squeeze my ass. I moan into his lips. His hands quickly move to the button on my jeans. In one smooth motion he unzips my pants, slips into my underwear, and is inside me. I wrap one hand behind his neck and the other joins his.

I focus on my clit as Uriah's fingers pummel into me. Suddenly he hits that spot that Lynn found so easily. I grab his forearm to keep his fingers inside me.

"Stay right there" I hiss into his ear. He freezes.

"No, move inside but not in and out."

There, he's on it. My fingers on my clit move at lightning speed. I am close. I start to slide down the wall. Uriah is holding me up by my cunt. There's a determination on his face. I think he is concentrating harder than I am. It makes me smile.

I close my eyes and focus on all that I am feeling. Uriah's fingers and mine. I run my free hand through my hair and pull it down over my face, tugging on it. Warmth rushes over my body and I see flashes of color on the backs of my eyelids. This is it. I bite the back of my hand as I climax to keep from screaming out.

As my body starts to recover Uriah begins to move his fingers in and out of me again. "How much longer do you think we have?"

Just then Tris slams open the door. I see Four over her shoulder. They are both wide eyed and appear embarrassed. Uriah and I laugh at them as they stare. He quickly pulls his hand out of my pants and waves at them with it; his fingers are clearly glistening. She storms past us, muttering something under her breath about Abnegation. Four's mouth is still agape as the door shuts.

"Are you going to talk to her today?"

I reassure him that, yes, I'm going to talk to Lynn today. Uriah wants to join us. She doesn't know that he has already been in the same room with us. I don't know how she will react but I hope she'll agree to at least try. Uriah isn't the only one of us that is excited about the prospect. I've fallen asleep with my fingers inside of myself on more than one occasion after thinking about how amazing it would be to have the both of them at once.

"We need to do something about this," I say as I grab Uriah through his training pants. I feel him twitch under my hand as I start to stroke him through the fabric.

"Show me what you like." I pull down the waistband of his pants and free him.

Uriah takes his hand, still wet from me, and begins to stroke his cock. I put my right hand over his, studying how he tightens his grip and rotates his hand as he nears the tip. Once I am comfortable with the motion I stare into his eyes. Eventually he drops his hand and lets me have control. He starts to pump his hips in time with my hand.

I'm glad I'm staring into his eyes because, if I hadn't been, I would have missed the look of pure excitement in them as I lowered myself to my knees. I keep working my hand and take the tip into my mouth. I hear the air escape his lips. With each thrust I take more of him into my mouth. I swirl my tongue around the tip. He tastes salty.

He runs his hands through my hair and gathers it on either side of my face. This is how he controls how deep I take him into my mouth. I reach up with my left hand and push up his shirt. I want to feel his skin, his strong chest. My hands find the small patch of hair on his chest. I run my fingers through it and tug slightly.

"Mar, stop, I'm gonna-" he says as he pushes my face away. I continue with my hand until he releases on his stomach. I smile at the sight. I feel the same pride that I felt when Lynn came. I like pleasuring people.

Uriah holds his hand out and helps me stand. He pulls down his shirt and cleans off his abdomen. He kisses me deeply and says, "Thank you, that was amazing."

I raise my eyebrow, tilt my head, and lift my shoulder. "Glad you liked it." I pull the waistband of his pants up and over him.

We're standing there, staring into each other's eyes when we hear the door. It's Lynn.

Uriah leans over and whispers in my ear, "You're going to ask her today, right?"

He punctuates the question with a kiss on my earlobe and I shoot him a look before answering.

"Yea." I reach out for Lynn's hand, "Lynn…"

"Not now Marlene. I have somewhere to be." Lynn says as she storms past me.

"Well that didn't last long," Uriah says as soon as Lynn is out of earshot.

"What?"

"Her good mood; gruff Lynn is back."

I am worried about Lynn and wonder what she had to endure in the simulation that would make her treat me like that. I punch his arm and turn away from him. He grabs my arm to stop me.

"So, since she doesn't want to talk to you now would you want to go to the stockroom with me?" he asks as he rubs me through my jeans, forcing the seam into my already tender clit.

"Well, since you asked so nicely," I grab his hand from my crotch and we run down the hall.

Once we reach the stockroom we strip off our clothes. He sits down on the mattress and is quick with the condom. I lower myself onto his lap. Uriah's thumb quickly finds my clit. I simper. He is learning what I need. I close my eyes, arch my back, and use my hands to balance myself on his knees. Uriah rocks his hips to meet me. Our movements become more frantic and my grip on his legs deepens. We climax together. I slow my rocking and Uriah drops his hands to his sides. I stay there, filled with him, and staring at his green eyes for a long time. How did I get so lucky to have two people love me so completely?

Uriah asks, "What?"

"I'm just thinking about how lucky I am."

"Oh yeah, look at me!" He motions to his body.

Uriah couldn't be serious if his life depended on it.

"C'mon, lets go get some lunch."

* * *

Uriah and I find a table alone in the dining hall. We talk about the prospects of our threesome in hushed voices. Uriah has some great ideas. Just talking about them is making me wet.

I shush Uriah, "Here she comes."

Lynn sits down in the chair next to Marlene. We chat about nothing. Uriah breaks the unease by standing and saying, "You ladies have a good time this afternoon, I'm going to see what kind of trouble I can get into." before winking and sauntering away. I could kill him. Lynn must already suspect something.

Before she has an opportunity to ask what Uriah knows I lean forward and whisper, "same time, same place?"

That garners a smile and she says, "Of course."

* * *

I am in the stockroom for the second time today. I swear I can still smell my sex from this morning even though I showered after lunch. Maybe is in the room, on the mattress. Hopefully Lynn doesn't notice, I think just as she enters the room.

I embrace her, "What was your simulation today?"

Her bottom lip trembles as she answers, "I had to choose between Hec and Shauna. One of them had to die." She starts to cry.

No wonder she was so upset as she was leaving.

"Sorry about earlier, I just had to see Shauna."

I hold her tighter and kiss her tears. I kiss down her face and help her forget the torturous simulation. I strip off her shirt and back her up to the mattress. She kicks off her shoes and I slip off her pants before I lower her to the bed. I take off my clothes and crawl to her. I start kissing at her ankle. My lips work up her leg. I kiss her sex through the cotton of her underwear. I look up at her from between her legs. She shifts and opens her legs a little. I slowly shake my head and give her a smirk. I'm going to tease her this afternoon. I want to make her beg.

I move on to her hip and take her underwear in my teeth. I slowly pull them down her legs. She reaches down to help me and I grab her wrists. Once I have her underwear in my hands I use them to tie hers together. Her expression tells me that this is a good thing. I straddle her hips but do not allow our cunts to touch. I am just close enough to feel the heat emanating from her body. She tries to reach out to me and I put her hands over her head and give her a stern look. She obeys.

I kiss her lips and then lean over to whisper in her ear, "I want to make you beg."

I kiss down her neck slowly. I lower my body just close enough to hers that my breasts graze her body. I wonder if she's enjoying this as much as I am. I kiss her breasts and then focus on one of her nipples. I lick it and then exhale onto it, watching as it stiffens. She takes a deep breath and attempts to force it into my mouth as she heaves her chest.

"Na uh uh." I warn her.

"Please."

"Please what my dear?"

"Please suck it."

I obey. I spin my tongue around her nipple before taking it into my mouth. I know she likes a little pain with her pleasure so I run my teeth along the length of her hard nipple. She moans and her entire body writhes beneath me.

I keep my mouth on her nipple and lower my hand to her sex. I run my fingers through her hair and touch her lips lightly. She thrusts towards me and I jerk my hand away.

"We've talked about this my dear."

"Please touch me," she moans.

I rub two fingers cling her slit. She is soaked. I dip inside her and draw the moisture up to her clit. Using one finger I rub around it, lifting her hood, but never actually touching it. Her hips are bucking.

"I said please," she whimpers.

"You sure did, you asked me to touch you and that's exactly what I'm doing."

I take one finger and slowly put it inside her to my knuckle, teasing her.

She pouts her lips and, without being told exclaims, "Please Mar, I'll do anything you want, just fuck me!"

"I'll hold you to that," is all I say as I enter her. I know what she likes. I fold my thumb across my palm and use my whole hand. The teasing must have worked because it is not long before her back is arching up off the bed. She has worked her hands out of their bindings and uses them to grip the sheets so tightly that her knuckles are white. I use my fingers to find the spot that makes me go wild. I don't focus on it like she does for me. Instead I make sure to stroke it every time I enter her. She can't take it anymore and screams. No words, just noise. She collapses on the bed and is panting. I curl up to her side and she puts her arm around me.

"I need to ask-" she starts just as I say, "Remember how you said-"

"You first," she says.

"Well, you did just say you'd do anything, did you mean it?"

"Yes, anything for you Marlene."

"Would you ever allow someone else to join us here?"

I can tell by her expression that this is the last thing she expected to come out of my mouth.

"Uriah?"

"Yes, he and I have talked about it and I'd like him to join us."

"This was his idea?"

"Yes, but I want it too."

"Well, if it's for you…"

"Really?!" it comes out much more excited than I intended. "So, what do you want from me?"

"Have you ever thought about using toys?"

"What kind of toys?"

"You know, the kind you wear."

I can tell this is making her uncomfortable but I'm going to make her say it.

"Whatever do you mean?" I say coquettishly.

She realizes what I'm doing and says, "I want you to fuck me with a strap on."

I can tell by her eyes that her candor has surprised even her.

"I think I'd like that, I'd like it a lot."

We lie there, exhausted and satiated. We're both getting what we want.


	13. Chapter 13

**Very mature conversations going on here but they needed to happen. I've always said that if talking about sex made you uncomfortable then maybe you weren't mature enough to be having it…**

* * *

At breakfast this morning I asked Marlene and Uriah to meet me in the stockroom after their simulations were over. They both were eager to agree and seemed excited. They're going to be disappointed.

Mar has tried to bring it up every time the three of us have been together since I told her I would do it. I don't want to talk about it in public. This is no one's business but our own.

I agreed to let Uriah join Marlene and me in bed. It was a moment of post-coital weakness, caught up in the afterglow of an amazing orgasm. I don't want to lose Marlene. If this is what I have to do to keep her, then I'm willing. First, we need a plan for how this is going to work.

I'm the first to get to the stockroom. I quickly clean up the place a bit. I lean the mattress up against the wall and set out some of the folding chairs. I want to send the message that this isn't happening today.

I hear the buttons on the keypad and then the door is opening. Marlene enters first with Uriah on her heels. He has his hands on her hips and is kissing her neck.

"So, I'm ready. Let's do this thing!" Uriah pulls a strip of condoms out of his pocket and wags it at me.

"No, that's not why I asked you to come here." I plop down into one of the chairs.

Marlene looks worried. She pushes Uriah's hand from her hip and walks over to me. She places her hand on my cheek and looks into my eyes.

"Babe, you okay?" she asks as she rubs her thumb over my lips. She knows me and it warms my heart.

"I just want this to work between all of us. I think the mature thing to do would be to talk about it before it happens."

"I think that's a good idea. C'mon Uriah, come sit with us."

"So, I've been thinking a lot about this."

"Me too," Marlene smiles.

"I'm serious Mar, if we want this to work out between us we need to be honest with each other. First, I need to know what everyone expects out of this."

"What do you mean?" asks Uriah. He looks like he's in over his head.

"What's your motivation, why do you want to have sex with the two other people in this room?" I reply, obviously annoyed.

"Hey now, I'm just along for the fun. I like Marlene and I thought it would be hot to be with the two of you. What guy doesn't want two girls?"

I'm stunned by his honesty but appreciate it. That's what I thought I'd hear from him.

"Marlene?"

"I love both people in this room." She reaches out and grabs both of our hands. "I love making you feel good and the thought of getting to do that at the same time," her voice tapers off as a smile spreads across her face. She is clearly lost in a very good vision.

"So, what about you? You seem to hate men so why would you agree to fuck me?"

"Uriah, I don't hate men and I certainly don't hate you. I don't get you most of the time, that's all. I want to do this for Marlene. I know that she loves us both. I want to give her this gift and watch her enjoy it."

"So, is that it?" Uriah is no longer as interested now that he knows we're not having sex today.

"No, I think we need rules."

"Rules?!"

"Uriah, be nice." Marlene says as she squeezes his hand. "This is important to Lynn so it's important to me. Please, I want this to work."

"Well, first off, I think no one should ever be left out. It's a threesome and it should stay that way. If one of us isn't having fun then none of us are having fun and it's over."

"I get that." Marlene agrees.

"_I_ don't have any problem with that."

"Okay, next rule: I don't want everyone to know about this. People can know we're close, they can know we're friends, but I don't want any of us to go around Dauntless bragging about this." I stare right at Uriah as I say this.

They both nod in assent.

"I have a question," Marlene raises her hand like she's in school and it makes me chuckle.

"I want to make sure that it's okay for me to be with each of you separately, not when we're all together, but other times. Does that make sense?"

"I don't have a problem with it, what about you Lynn?"

I knew this was coming. I knew this was happening. I've been trying to convince myself that I'm going to be okay with this.

"Yes, I just ask that you don't lie to me about meeting him. We have to be honest with each other."

"I love you Lynn," Marlene says as she leans over to kiss my cheek. She's never said that and I hate that the first time she tells me she loves me is in front of _him_.

"Last thing, and this may be the most important: is there anything that you're not willing to do sexually, any act that's off the table?"

Uriah doesn't even have to think, "Nothing and no one goes anywhere near my ass!"

Marlene looks down at her hands and mutters, "that doesn't apply to me." I don't think she realizes that I heard her.

"Marlene, is there anything you're not willing to do?"

"Nope, not right now I mean. If we do something and I don't like it, I'll let you know. What about you?"

"I'm here to be with you Marlene, Uriah is just along for the ride. He can touch me, I'll touch him, I'll even blow him but he's not fucking me."

"Well then, when should we do this?" Uriah asks.

"I was thinking after the Initiation Banquet? It will be easy to sneak away and people will be drunk so they won't notice."

We all agree.

"Where? Too many people know about this place and it could get crowded during the banquet." Uriah really wants this to happen.

I have a solution. "Our dormitory. We're all Dauntless born so one will be staying past the banquet. They'll all move back in with their families and wait to be assigned an apartment. We should have the place to ourselves."

"Oh, one more thing. I wanted to show you guys this." I pull a folded up piece of paper out of my pocket and shove it into Marlene's hand. "I know you've both only been with each other and Mar has been with me but I have a past. I wanted to prove to you that I'm clean so I went to Helena to get tested. Those are my results."

Marlene takes my face in her hands and kisses me. "I know you'd never give me anything babe."

We walk out of the room and towards the dining hall. Uriah and Marlene hold hands, Marlene has her arm around my shoulder, and I have mine wrapped around her lower back.

I really hope this works.


	14. Chapter 14

**Thank you to DauntlessInTheEnd for helping me bring my first OC to life. You get just a taste and then she's going away for a while. Never fear, we'll see her again soon, and I think we're all going to enjoy her.**

* * *

Today we have a free day. At breakfast we found out that Four was taking the transfers up into the spire to show them the fear landscape room. Most of us have seen it or heard about it so we're not joining them. I don't see the advantage to seeing it before you go in. It's just a room. The computers do all the work. I'm glad we don't have to train today. I've decided that this is the day. The perfect day for Marlene to give me what I want.

I sneak off to the pit after breakfast. I know my destination. The Dauntless are not ashamed of sex like the Abnegation. Sexuality is a part of life and as long as everyone is consenting, having fun, and using protection then no one bats an eye around here. I try to channel this sexual confidence as I enter the sex shop. I am here to buy a harness and dildo for Marlene to wear. She told me to pick it out and said she'd give me what I want.

I am amazed at the selection when I enter the store. It is not a dark and seedy place. The shop is bright and the shelves are well stocked. There are realistic dildos in every shape, color, and size. Some of them are so large that they're frightening. There's what appears to be a novelty line shaped like cats or dolphins. I chuckle at the sight. Around the next shelf I find what I'm looking for. These aren't lifelike at all. They are all different colors and, while phallic, aren't veiny and startling. I try to decide what size I want. I pick one up in my hand to judge its girth.

"Can I help you?" asks a voice. It's low for a woman but distinctly female. I freeze, my hand still wrapped around the shaft. I am suddenly self-conscious. I drop the toy back on the shelf and turn around.

I look into the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. What color are they you ask? What color aren't they? Flecks of yellow around the pupils give way to a light green that darkens into a brown ring at the edge of her iris. They are huge, almond shaped, stunning, and framed by thick long eyelashes. I draw my focus out to the face that surrounds these eyes. How have I never seen this woman before? Her skin is the color of mocha. Her lips are full and have a natural pout. Her dark thick hair is styled in a spiky short cut. She doesn't need makeup at all but has accented her eyes with some smoky eyeliner and has just a bit of tint on her lips. But those eyes, I can't stop staring. She smiles a smile that lights up her face. Even her eyes smile. She is strikingly beautiful.

"So, are you shopping for yourself or for a friend?"

"Uh, well-"

"This is your first time in here isn't it?" She grins and raises her right eyebrow, the one with the rings.

"Yea." I look down at my feet in embarrassment.

"There's a lot to learn. First, is this going to be for you or do you plan on sharing it with someone else?"

What is she getting at? Is this gorgeous woman actually trying to figure out if I'm single?

"It's for me." I say truthfully. I want Marlene to fuck me.

"Well then these are good," as she gestures towards a shelf of soft plastic dildos.

"But if you want to be able to share them you should go with silicone. They're a little more expensive but last longer. They're less porous and easier to clean too."

She shows me to a shelf of silicone toys.

"Now, what do you plan on doing with it?"

"Well, you know, their intended purpose" my voice trails off. What else would I do with a dildo?

"No, do you plan to use a harness or just holding it on your hand? We even have models with suction cups if you want to use them the shower."

"Oh, like that. Well, a harness" I say as if it were a question.

She grabs a dildo by the head and shows me the base. "Then you want one with a wide base like this. That way it will stay in. The harnesses are over there. I can grab a few for you to try on if you'd like."

As soon as she says the words try on she puts her hands on my hips.

"A medium should work."

Her hands are no longer on my hips but I can still feel every point of contact.

"Name's Elan if you need anything else. I'll be right over there." She points to the counter.

I watch her walk away. No, not walk, saunter. Her dark jeans hang low on her hips and tattoos peek out on either side. She wears a simple fitted t-shirt that shows off the definition of her back and arms. More tattoos peek out at the sleeves. She sits down behind the counter and starts to thumb through some papers.

I stare at the dildos. I pick up a few in my hand to judge the girth. I find a size I like and finally select one. It's blue and slightly curved. It's textured but not too much. The size is average, not too big. I hold it by the base and take it to the counter.

"Good choice, I have that one at home. This is our most popular harness. Do you need to try it on?"

"No. I'm sure it'll fit." I'm letting this woman think that I'm going to be wearing the harness. Another lie of omission.

She takes the harness out of the box and shows me how the dildo fits into the ring. As she's looking down I notice a small silver stud in her nose.

She packs everything up for me in a nondescript bag and gives me my total.

"So, what's your name?"

"Lynn."

"Well Lynn, I hope you have fun." She tosses a small bottle in the bag.

"Here's some lube in case you need it. A 'first toy' gift from me to you. I'll see you again soon."

I give her a quizzical look so she adds, "You can't buy just one."

I walk out of the store with a newfound confidence. I need to find Marlene.

When I make it back to the dormitory I find Marlene and Uriah. He's sitting on his bed and she has her head in his lap and her feet propped up on the wall. They're just talking and he's languidly running his hand through her hair. I feel like I'm interrupting something because they both sit up straight when I walk in the room.

Marlene makes eye contact and then looks down to the bag. Once her gaze returns to my face she said, "So, been shopping?"

She gets up from the bed and walks to me. She puts one hand in mine and wraps the other around me. "Do we have to wait until this afternoon?" she whispers in my ear before nibbling on my earlobe.

I can see Uriah over her shoulder. There is jealousy in his eyes.

Marlene takes me by the hand and leads me out of the dormitory. She grabs the bag out of my hand and starts to go through it.

"Don't do that! Someone could see!"

"And…" teases Marlene.

"And I do not want to walk around with a dildo in my hand. Put it back!"

She complies but not without a pout. As soon as we get to the stockroom Marlene rips into the bag. She pulls the harness out of the package and holds it up. It is a tangled mess of leather straps and metal buckles.

"You're going to have to help me put this on."

She lays the harness out on the bed and dumps out the dildo. Then she takes off her clothes and slips the harness up onto her hips. I fit the dildo into the ring just like Elan showed me. I fasten the buckles around her thighs and tighten the straps at her waist. I remember to grab the little bottle of lube. Then I step back to take it all in.

Marlene is having fun. She poses with her hands on her hips and feet wide. It makes me laugh but does nothing for setting the mood.

"We need to work our way up to this I think." Then she walks over to me and starts to undress me.

"Tell me how you want it." She says between kisses.

I remembered when I first imagined Marlene fucking me. We were up against the wall. That's how I want it.

"The wall"

Marlene runs her hands along my sides and up to my breasts, pinning me against the wall. She pinches my nipples and I moan. She knows what I like. She presses her body into mine. I feel the strap on between my legs.

"Here." I squeeze some of the lube into my hand and begin to stroke the dildo. It appears that she likes it when I do that and then I realize why. The base of it puts pressure on her clit. I stroke the shaft harder and press the base into her. She realizes that this was intentional and smirks.

"You ready?"

I do not answer. Instead I put my arms around her neck, pull myself up, and wrap my legs around her waist. She holds me up with one hand, presses me into the wall and uses her free hand to line the head of the dildo up with my opening.

She stares into my eyes and does not drop the gaze as she slowly enters me. I rock my hips to meet her and clench around the dildo. We begin to move together, her thrusting and me returning the motion. We start slow and deliberately at first. Marlene is very good at this. Her hips rock back and forth with more skill than any of the men I have been with. She starts to falter and I realize that she cannot support my weight. I lower one foot to the floor, leaving the other wrapped behind her thigh.

With every thrust she grinds into me. The lust in her eyes tells me that she is really enjoying this. That makes it all the better for me. I take one of her breasts into my hand and tease her nipple between my thumb and forefinger. She returns the gesture but with more force. She palms my breast and squeezes my nipple. My hand quickly leaves her breast and covers her hand.

"Harder" I pant. She listens and squeezes me so tightly that I'm sure there will be a mark.

She places one hand on the wall for leverage and continues to pound into me. I am close. I grab her hair in my hands and pull. Then, just as I'm about to come, she twists my nipple between her knuckles. That is exactly what I need.

"Mother fuck!" I scream as my cunt clamps down around the shaft so tightly that she is forced to stop thrusting.

After taking a moment to recover I lower the leg that had been wrapped around Marlene's and crouch down, sitting on my heels between her legs. I take the dildo into my mouth. I am shocked and aroused by the taste of me. Using the pressure of my mouth I grind the base into Marlene's cunt and she moans. I bring my hands to her hips and loosen the buckles that keep the harness on. It falls to the floor and she steps out.

I pull her down to her knees and lay back. Marlene quickly follows my cues and straddles my head. I bury my face in her sex. I nuzzle her open with my nose and quickly follow with my tongue. I tease her clit, licking her slowly. With each stroke I lift her hood slightly, exposing the hard nub. I wrap my lips around it and suck it into my mouth. The noises she makes come from a place deep inside her, guttural almost.

Marlene leans back, reaches her behind her, and finds my mound. She slips a finger between my lips, quickly finds my clit, and soon I am moaning into her. I look up, from this angle all I can see is her stomach and breasts bobbing up and down with her pants. She starts to grind into my face. It is hard for her to get any traction because I am covered in her juices; I feel them dripping down my neck. I cover my teeth with my lip to give her something hard to rub and enter her with my tongue. Soon we are climaxing together.

Marlene is still panting when she leans over and slides down my body, leaving a shiny path along my skin. We lay there, entangled in each other's limbs, until our breathing returns to normal.

She kisses me deeply and then whispers into my ear. "I really liked that."

"I could tell."

"Can we do that with Uriah?"

I immediately wish that I had added a rule about not discussing him when we were together.

"We'll see." I say as I start to unfurl from her body. The mood has changed in the room. I start to get dressed and she joins me.

I take the washcloth off of the doorknob and I use it to wipe off my face. Then I pass it to Marlene so she can wipe her fingers before wrapping it around the dildo before replacing it in the bag. Marlene and I walk out of the stockroom together. She's holding the still nondescript but slightly wrinkled bag. We make our way down the hall. As soon as we enter the pit I feel eyes on me. I tell myself that I am just being paranoid. Then I look over my shoulder and meet eyes. Those full hazel eyes. Elan's gaze passes from me, to Marlene, to the bag in her hands. When it returns to me she has a knowing smile and gives me a nod. I feel a quiver between my legs and smile back. For the first time I am not embarrassed at the possibility someone knows what Marlene and I have been doing.


	15. Chapter 15

**Thanks to DauntlessInTheEnd for all of her help with this chapter. She's an amazingly talented writer who, for some reason, likes to slum it with me. If you like Divergent AU then check her out. Her stuff is phemonenal. **

**Also, anechoic chambers are real and the idea of being alone in silence where I can hear only the sounds inside my body scares the shit out of me so I decided Lynn was scared of it too. She and I have so much in common already…**

* * *

Marlene and I have not been alone together since our afternoon with the strap on. This is the longest we've gone without having sex since I lost it after the fight. That day seems like a lifetime ago but in reality it has been two weeks. We are all on edge. The simulations have broken us. One of the transfers even threw himself into the chasm. It's understandable that Mar and I have hardly spoken in three days, it doesn't mean we're falling apart before we even really began.

I shuffle to the bathroom after forcing myself out of bed. I look in the mirror. I wear the toil of initiation on my face. I am tired and it shows. My skin is ashen and dark circles surround my eyes. I brush my teeth and take a quick shower. I hastily get dressed and make my way to the dining hall. Today is Initiation day.

The mood in the dining hall does not match mine. Understandable since a very small percentage of those in attendance are initiates. The Dauntless see this as another excuse to party. They are already members and do not share in our fear and apprehension of becoming factionless if we do not rank in the top ten. They're just looking forward to the welcoming banquet.

I carefully walk up the path and make my way to the spire. I enter a sea of people. The crowd is huddled around three screens. One shows the image of an initiate, his face frozen in fear. Another screen shows his heart rate and a final shows the time that he has been in the simulation.

Someone must recognize me as an initiate because they part and let me through and into the room. I quickly find a seat and watch as the Dauntless-borns start the final test, the fear landscape. We go in reverse order of our round two rankings. I'm ranked first among the Dauntless-borns so I will go last. I watch as my friends and fellow initiates fight battles against unknown fears. The waiting is unnerving and finally it is my turn.

Eric calls my name. I expose my neck to him and he injects me with the serum. I walk into the fear landscape room and take a deep breath. I scan the crowd for a familiar face. Just over the leaders' shoulders I see smiling eyes. They are the last thing I see before my vision goes black.

I am no longer in the fear landscape room. I am atop Dauntless headquarters and I immediately recognize this fear. I have been thinking about this since the first time I suffered through the simulation. My heart starts to race. Choosing Shauna over Hector has haunted me. I cannot do that again. I must calm myself down. I crouch down and hug my knees. I take deliberate breaths in through my nose and out my mouth. I imagine myself at home, sitting around our table with Shauna, Hector, and our mother. We are laughing. My heart starts to beat more slowly and eventually the simulation fades around me. I am glad I did not have to choose one of them in front of the leaders. I wouldn't want that getting back to my family.

I hear the crackling before the lights come up in the next simulation. The air is thick with smoke and I immediately start coughing. The heat hits me like a wall. I am terrified and yet I cannot panic. I have thought of how to conquer this fear and I know what I need to do. I need to get below the smoke and get out. I lower myself to the floor. I don't recognize the room so I don't know which direction to go. I eventually near a door and reach up to test the doorknob. It is too hot to touch. I roll over to my back and kick at the door with my feet. It eventually opens and the smoke spills into the room. It is a bathroom. Fuck! There's not a way out. I take off my shirt, leaving on my tanktop. I wet the shirt in the tub and wrap it around my mouth to help filter out the smoke. I go back out the door and continue down what appears to be a hallway. I eventually reach a window and am able to open it. I get my body halfway out and the simulation disappears.

Okay, two fears down. The simulation continues. All around me I hear whispers. Voices that I recognize are speaking in whispers. Marlene, Uriah, my mother, and a few others are sitting around the table. I pick a few phrases out of their conversation

"We can't tell her."

"She can't handle it."

"She's not strong enough."

"She's weak."

Tears stream down my face. They are right. I am weak. I am not strong. I am not brave. I am not Dauntless. I'm not going to make it through my Fear Landscape. The realization of what my family and friends think of me.

I rush up to the table and demand that they tell me what they are talking about. They refuse but Uriah's eyes betray him. He glances over to the chasm. I run to the chasm and look over. There, on a support pipe, cling Shauna and Hector. They are holding on for their lives. My family and friends did not even think I could handle this. They think I'm weak. I'll show them. I lay on my stomach and reach my hands out to my siblings. I am not weak. I can handle this and I will show them. I reach over and grab Hector and Shauna's hands. I am not weak. The simulation goes black.

I hear them before I see them. Slugs. Creepy, crawly, slimy, slurpy slugs. They are everywhere. They cover the floor that separates me from the door. I cannot walk without squishing a sea of slugs under my boots. They slither and slime. I shudder. In that motion I notice that even the ceiling is covered with slugs. One drops down onto my head. I scream. Then more start to fall. They are in my shirt, on my skin, leaving slime trails. I am frozen in a panic. I'm wasting time here. I can make it through deadly situations and I'm stuck on these fucking slime balls. What combats slugs? What can I do? Salt! I imagine a large vat of salt and suddenly it appears next to the wall. I take out a scoop and pour salt all over the floor. The slugs start to writhe as they are dehydrated. Oh fuck! I forgot that it makes the slime worse. I need a shovel to get rid of this shit. No sooner than I think it and there's a flat edged shovel leaning up against the wall. I clear a path and get the fuck out of that room!

As I walk through the door I am bathed in darkness. The light comes up and I am in a large white room. The walls are lined with what looks like foam that sticks out in all directions. I walk around. My boots do not make a sound on the mesh floor. That's odd. I listen carefully and realize that I not hear anything at all. I find the door to the room and knock. There's no noise. Am I deaf? No, I hear a slight high pitched frequency in my ear. I start to scream but no noise reaches my ears. I feel the strain in my vocal cords so I know I am making sound. What is happening? I start to panic and, only then do I hear something. My heartbeat. I can hear my heartbeat. I can hear! I'm not deaf! Why can't I hear my screams or anything else? What is this place? I pace from one corner of the room to the other. I am completely alone in this place. My footsteps make no noise and my voice is useless. How am I going to get out of this room? I hear a groan and look around, assuming that the noise came from somewhere in the room. I should know better. I can only hear internal noises. I think that groan is my stomach. I didn't have any appetite for breakfast. I am beginning to understand this fear. Understanding is the key to getting past it. What am I afraid of. Silence, but what else. I am utterly and completely alone with no one to comfort me, not even myself. All I can hear are the internal noises of my body. I formulate a plan that uses that to my advantage. I sit down and cross my legs. I listen to my heart rate and will it to slow down. I remove all thoughts from my body other than slowing my heart rate. Eventually my body complies and the chamber disappears.

I am back in what I now know is the Dauntless control room. I panic. Are the leaders going to see this video? My heart races at the thought. I am losing control of this simulation before it has even begun. The leaders are here and watching this and they are all going to see that video. I rush to the screens but they are blank. I turn around and scan the crowd. It is larger than last time. It's not just people that I have fucked. Four is here and the Dauntless leaders. In the corner I see my family: Mom, Hector, and Shauna. They are all muttering. They are all talking about my sexuality. They are all calling me dyke. Talking about how disgusting I am. How what I do us unnatural. They all know. I am scared of what they think. How am I going to get past this fear? This is me. This has always been me. This is how I was born. These people have known me for years and suddenly now they have a problem with me?! Eventually that fear has given way to anger. I am pissed!

I walk past one of the largest of the men and he calls out, "Fucking dyke!"

I reach around, grab his shirt in my hands, and pull his face to mine.

"Look here mother fucker! You're right. I am a lesbian. You can call me a vagitarian or a fister sister. I don't even mind if you talk about how I like to eat my lunch at the Y but if you call me a fucking dyke one more time I'm going to cut your dick off and shove it down your throat."

I guess I can call that fear conquered. Fade to black.

When the lights come up I am inside a glass cube in a long room. The room is lined on either side with glass cubes. Each one has a bright light hanging above it. There are people in the cubes. I see my family, Marlene, Uriah, and, Four

"Be brave," Four whispers. Then the light above his cube goes out, the glass becomes an opaque black color, and all I hear are his screams.

This sequence happens over and over for each of the cubes until mine the only cube lit. I know what is coming but before I am in the dark I clamp my eyes shut. What happens after the lights go out? What's in the cubes? Why are all my friends and family screaming? I cannot open my eyes. I cannot see that I am in the dark. This is how I have managed my fear of the dark for years. As a child I would walk around our apartment with my eyes clamped shut instead of turning on a light and admitting that I was scared of the dark. My plan isn't working! This is how I normally deal with the dark. My heart pounds in my chest. This isn't conquering, this is avoiding. I know what I have to do. My breathing becomes faster as I do what I could never do as a child: open my eyes in the dark.

I am so glad when the lights come up and I am out of the glass chamber. That happiness doesn't last long because the second thing I realize is that we are on the top of the Hancock building. I am sitting next to a pile of harnesses but there is no one here to help with the zip line. I am terrified of heights. If it hadn't been for Shauna bribing me with her key I never would have gotten it in the elevator. Heights are an easy fear to conquer in simulation. I walk up to the side and step on the ledge. I turn around and fall backwards into nothingness. I never hit the pavement. I am standing on solid ground.

I hear the shell advance into the chamber before I feel the barrel of the gun against my head.

"Shoot her."

I look down to my hand. In it is a pistol. I look ahead of me and see her, Marlene. Her lip trembles. She holds her hand out towards me.

"Shoot her or I will shoot you."

"NO!" I refuse. The barrel of the gun is pressed harder into my head.

"Lynn," Marlene sobs. "Please, don't shoot me." Her body is shaking.

There was a day that I would have chosen Marlene's life over mine. A day when I didn't value my own life and would have chosen anyone else's life over mine. I have changed. Initiation has changed me. Marlene has changed me. I owe her my life but I have to take hers.

I look at Marlene and mouth, "I'm sorry."

I take my stance, raise the gun, inhale, align the sight with her forehead, exhale slowly, and fire. Marlene's body crumples to the floor and I let the gun drop from my hand. I wail as the simulation ends.

I am back in the fear landscape room, the wail still on my lips. Nine. I had nine fears and I completed my fear landscape in nine minutes. Soon Eric, Max, and the rest of the leaders are congratulating me. I am not paying attention to what they are saying until I see the needle. Eric says something about a tracking device and safety precautions. He does not even give me an opportunity to refuse before the needle punctures my skin.

I make my way through the crowd. Strangers are slapping me on the arm and congratulating me. All I want to do is get back to the dormitory, pack up my things, and take a nap. I am exhausted. Tonight is welcoming banquet, assuming I have ranked in the top ten, and afterwards Marlene, Uriah, and I have plans.

As I make my way back down the pathway to the pit I swear that I see Elan in the crowd but I think my eyes are playing tricks on me. I had never seen her before that day in the sex shop so why does she keep popping up now?


	16. Chapter 16

Completing initiation is such a relief! I feel taller and lighter as I walk back to the dormitory after my fear landscape. I need to take a nap before getting ready for the banquet. When I get back to the dormitory I find it empty. Most of the Dauntless-born initiates had already packed up their belongings days ago. Our plan is going to work. We'll have the place to ourselves tonight. I curl up in my bed and quickly fall asleep.

Uriah wakes me. He has crawled in bed with me and is nuzzling my neck. He starts to rub up my thigh. I moan as my eyes open.

"You gonna sleep all day?"

"No, but I wanted to be rested for tonight." I say just before kissing him.

"I can't wait."

I roll out of bed, pulling down my sleep shirt to cover my underwear. I gather my things for a shower, taking care to make sure Uriah doesn't see the surprises I bought for him and Lynn.

In the shower I take care to wash my entire body. Then I shave my legs and start on my bikini line. I slip.

"Damn!"

I examine my lips closely. Luckily I did not cut myself but I have taken out a large chunk of hair. To even it up I'm going to have remove almost everything.

When I get out of the shower the air hits my bare lips and startles me. Everything is much more sensitive. Maybe that was a happy mistake. I smile.

I wrap a towel around my body and another around my hair. I lean over the shower and start to apply my makeup. I haven't taken much pride in my appearance during initiation, none of us have, but that time is over now. Then I focus on my hair. I want to wear it up but have difficulty. There is just so much of it. I twist, knot, and pin until it looks okay, messy, but okay.

Then I get out the surprise. A garter belt, thigh highs, a cami, and a cheeky pair of underwear. All black and made of a very see through fine mesh. I put on the garter belt. I feel so sexy as I pull on the thigh highs and smooth them against my skin. I pull my underwear over the garter, that way I can get them off and leave the stockings on if they want me to. I decide to forego a bra and pull the tight cami over my chest. I slip my feet into my heels and grab my dress, if you can call it that. It's ruched at the side seams, hits my thighs just below the upper seam of my stockings, and made of a thin jersey knit. The wide sleeves hang off of one shoulder and it is cut down the back in a v. I look at myself in the mirror and smile. I feel so sexy. I walk out of the bathroom and down the hall with a bounce in my step.

I follow the deafening din of the Dauntless to the dining hall. Many have been drinking all day. I must have taken longer that I realized to get ready because Eric is already on stage and making a speech when I arrive. I make my way through the crowd and find Uriah and Lynn. They are together, must have been looking for me. Uriah shoves a flask into my hand and I take a drink. Then I hold both of their hands tightly as Eric says,

"The rankings will appear on the screen behind me."

And it is so. On the screen are our final rankings. Tris is first. Uriah, Lynn, and I make up the next three. Of the original group of eleven Dauntless-born initiates, six of us are members. The room erupts into cheers and pounding fists. Uriah congratulates Tris and then turns to me. He grabs my ass and kisses me. I pull Lynn closer; break from Uriah's lips and lean around to kiss her. She turns her head and I nuzzle into her neck instead.

Someone starts music and the lights lower. The party is starting. Uriah passes around his flask again. I notice that Lynn takes a particularly large swig. The three of us start to dance. Uriah spreads my legs around his and we grind to the music. My dress slips up my thighs and the straps holding up my stockings are exposed. I feel a hand on my thigh and a finger hooks into the strap. I follow the arm up and see that it is Lynn's. I turn away from Uriah and put my arms around Lynn's waist to pull her closer. I lean in to kiss her and she averts again. I take her chin in my hand and force my lips into hers. Uriah leans up and whispers in our ears,

"Let's get out of here ladies."

He grabs both of our hands and leads us through the crowd. As soon as we are away from the prying eyes of the crowds we stop. I kiss Uriah deeply and then turn to do the same to Lynn. Uriah offers up his flask again and we all drink. If he keeps this up I'm going to be drunk!

"Last one there…" Uriah's voice trails off as he runs to the dormitory. I grab Lynn's hand and we run off after him. When we get to the dormitory we are all out of breath. I look around to make sure we have the room to ourselves.

"Come on Uriah, give me a hand."

Uriah and I move some beds out of the way. I grab our mattresses and put them on the floor. There's no way we would have all fit on one of the bunks.

"Why don't you girls get started without me?" Uriah suggests as he sits on a bunk behind Lynn.

I walk over to Lynn. She has been so quiet tonight.

"You okay babe?"

"Yeah, just nervous is all," she whispers into my ear.

"This should lighten the mood then." I reach down and pull my dress over my head, revealing the lingerie underneath. I look from Lynn's face to Uriah's. They share a look of surprise and excitement.

Then I walk over to Lynn. I kiss her and suck her lower lip into my mouth. She wraps her arms around me, cupping the bare skin of my ass that sticks out of the bottom of my underwear. She moans into my mouth as she squeezes my ass. I pull away from our kiss, teasing her with small nips and pecks. I pull on the hem of her shirt and then lift it over her head. She's only wearing a tank underneath, no bra. I quickly remove that as well. I look over Lynn's shoulder to check on Uriah. He smiles and nods in encouragement.

I kiss her deeply again and she moans. My tongue begs entry to her mouth and she yields. Our tongues meet. I suck hers into my mouth and she moans again. I unbutton her pants and unzip her zipper. My hand slips into her underwear and plunges to her clit. She must have not been expecting such aggression and her breath hitches. I use my free hand to slip her jeans over her hip. I push her around so she is facing Uriah.

I stand behind her. I wrap one arm around her and take her breast into my hand. I toy with her nipple. My other hand quickly finds her sex. She bends her knees and spreads her legs slightly to allow me entry. I slip into her with all fingers, just the way she likes. I go deeper and deeper with each entry. She is soon thrusting to meet my hand. She leans her head back and pants into my neck. I make eye contact with Uriah and then look down to the bulge in his pants. I nod at him and he takes off his shirt. I keep my eye on Uriah but return my focus to Lynn. I kiss the base of her neck and then lick up to her ear.

"Let's lay down," I whisper.

I come around to the front of her and we lie back on the mattresses together. I straddle her hips. I look over at Uriah. He has taken off his pants and is rubbing his cock through his boxer briefs. I look down at Lynn. She grabs the bottom of my cami and pulls it over my head. Her hands quickly find my breasts. She pulls one into her mouth. My back arches with pleasure. She hooks her fingers under the waistband of my underwear and helps me out of them before entering me. I look over at Uriah. He has removed his underwear and has his cock in his hand.

I kiss my way down Lynn's body. She tries to keep her fingers inside me but eventually she is forced to slip out. I rest on my elbows between her legs. My ass is up in the air on full display for Uriah. I lick up Lynn's slit, stopping at the opening to her hood. I flick her clit with my tongue before sucking it into my mouth. Her hands run through my hair, tugging slightly. I slip four fingers into her as I suck on her clit.

I look over at Uriah and motion for him to join us before returning my attention to Lynn. He needs no further encouragement. Before I can return my lips to Lynn's he has entered me from behind. I moan into Lynn's cunt. It is all I can do to concentrate on pleasing her. She notices that I have wavered and pulls my head towards her. I try to return to pleasuring her but it is so hard to focus. In this position Uriah is hitting all the right spots but my clit still begs to be touched. I pull my fingers out of Lynn and reach down to stroke my nub. I press my head into the mattress. Uriah's fingers grip into my flesh and he is fucking me harder now. I can tell that he won't last much longer. My fingers become frantic on my clit. My hamstrings start to quiver. I don't know how much longer I can stay in this position.

With his next thrust Uriah pushes me over. He grabs my right leg and lifts it up, forcing me onto my side. His motions do not falter as I turn. I hook my leg over his shoulder and he holds onto it to brace himself. His legs are straddling my left leg. In this position he gets so deep inside me. He lowers a hand to where we meet. His thumb finds my clit. He remembered. I run my hands up my body, across by breasts, and through my hair. Soon the walls of my cunt are contracting, forcing Uriah to come along with me.

I lay there, panting, and Uriah slips out of me. He collapses beside me and my arms reach out for Lynn. I grasp at air. I sit up on my elbows and look around.

She's gone.


	17. Chapter 17

**After your encouragement (and some threats) I have decided to continue this story. I'm glad you're along for the ride. Review please.**

**DauntlessInTheEnd-thank you for your encouragement and friendship. This one's for you dear.**

* * *

Mar changes as soon as Uriah enters her. She gets distracted, sloppy. My orgasm, that was once just over the precipice, is gone. Eventually, as he pounds into her, she is only available to pant into my cunt. She turns her head and rests it on her arm. I slip out from under her and slide off of the mattresses.

I look over my shoulder as I gather my clothes. Marlene's eyes are clamped shut and her head is down. Uriah holds her shoulder in one hand and waist in the other as he fucks her from behind. They don't even notice that I am no longer on the mattresses.

I slip into my jeans and shirt, stuff my underwear in my duffle bag, and throw it over my shoulder.

"Goodbye Marlene," I whisper as I leave the room.

I do not cry. I am not upset. I knew this wasn't going to work but I tried, for her.

I decide to enjoy the slight buzz that remains from whatever Uriah keeps in his flask and return to the banquet. The party is in full swing when I walk back into the dining hall. The tables have all been removed and it has turned into a large dance floor. The music is so loud that I can feel it in my core. There are lasers and lights and smoke. The mass of people moves as one and in time with the music, fists pumping in the air in true Dauntless fashion. I leave my bag against the wall and join them. I can forget myself in the music. I close my eyes and just dance.

The music and dancing, and honestly, probably the liquor, allow me to let my guard down. I feel a wave of emotions rush over me and I realize that I am crying.

"I thought you left," someone screams over the music from behind.

I turn to see whom it is and wipe the tears from my cheeks. It's Elan.

"Are you keeping tabs on me?" I lean in and yell back over the music.

"Maybe I want to make sure you're having a," the music stops but she keeps screaming, "GOOD TIME." She looks embarrassed. I scoff at her.

Another song soon starts and I return to dancing. I feel her eyes on me. My dancing has become erratic and angry. I am stumbling over my own feet. Maybe I am drunk. There's a hand in mine and a voice in my ear.

"I think you need some water."

She leads me by my hand from the dance floor. We stop off and she grabs my bag. She must have been watching me from the moment I came in. Elan puts her arm around my shoulders and walks me out of the dining hall. My ears are ringing and, once there is silence, I realize that the pounding in my head is not the result of the music. She sits me down on a bench and disappears. Soon she returns with a cup.

"Drink this."

I reach up to take the cup from her hands and our fingers meet. She jerks her hand back nervously and I nearly spill the water down the front of my shirt.

"Sorry," she apologizes.

I take a gulp of the water. It is cold and crisp and feels good. She was right. I did need this.

"So what's going on? You should be happy and celebrating. You're Dauntless, you came in third!"

"There's nothing wrong," I snap.

"Lynn, I'm old enough to know that that's a lie. You're angry and sad. Someone has hurt you. Now tell me who it is and I can go kick their ass." She smiles and gives me a friendly punch on the shoulder.

I like the way Elan makes me feel. I like the way she looks at me. I lean in and whisper sloppily into her ear, "Let's get out of here."

"Where do you want to go?"

"Don't you have an apartment?"

"I don't think that's a good idea."

I run my hand up her leg and squeeze her inner thigh; my thumb is dangerously close to her crotch. "Why, don't you want me?"

She grabs my hand and throws it aside. "You're drunk Lynn."

"All the better to be taken advantage of," I try to wink but end up blinking instead. I'm not very good at this seduction thing.

She stands up and holds out her hand. "I'm not taking you home but I do know a place we can go that's a little more private."

She leads me down a path at the edge of the pit. Our destination is the chasm.

"Be careful and don't kill yourself, okay?" she warns as I make my way down the slippery path.

We sit, side by side, but not touching. I have my knees drawn up to my chest and wrap my arms around my legs. I rest my forehead on my knees. Elan sits beside me but in a much more relaxed position. Her feet dangle down and her hands are behind her knees. She leans forward and looks into the rushing water. We sit there, silent, for several minutes before she asks,

"What's really bothering you Lynn? I saw you with your girlfriend the other day and you looked happy. What changed?"

"Well, she's not really my girlfriend."

"Okay."

"She's the first girl I've ever been with but we're not exclusive or anything. She has a boyfriend."

"Is that the guy that the two of you left with tonight?"

"Yeah, they're still there."

"Still where?"

"In the dormitory."

"I thought Dauntless-born initiates usually moved out as soon as the finish the fear landscape."

"You're not getting it!" I'm getting frustrated. She's going to make me say it.

"What am I not getting Lynn?"

"They're down there fucking!" I point towards the dormitory. "We were supposed to all be together and as soon as he got involved she stopped paying attention to me! They don't even know I left." I scream and tears stream down my cheeks.

"Oh, _oh_," she understands now.

She leans over and puts her arm around me. "I'm sorry. These things never really work out."

"I tried," I say between sobs, "we talked, and set rules, and everything."

"That's a difficult thing to make work, even with established relationships. It's a very adult situation to find yourself in."

I jerk out of her embrace. "I _am_ an adult," I spit out, "like you said, I'm Dauntless now!"

"I didn't mean to me patronizing Lynn, threesomes, open relationships, these things are a minefield. People think they're ready and then, when the time comes, someone gets hurt. It's never just sex. We form emotional connections, it's human nature, and that's where people get hurt."

"How do you know so much?"

"I've been through it. I've tried it and it didn't work. My ex and I thought we could save our relationship by letting others in our bed. It didn't and we flushed ten years down the drain."

"Ten years?" I say in disbelief. How old is Elan? She doesn't look much older than me. And why is she avoiding names or pronouns? I could have sworn she was into girls but maybe her ex is a guy.

"Yeah, we were initiates together. I thought I was going to be with her forever."

There, she said it: her. Maybe I do stand a chance.

"How long ago did you split up?"

"It's been a few months since she moved out but we'd been broken for several years before that."

It is my turn to comfort her. I put my arm around her and pull her to my shoulder. I feel her breath on my collarbone.

"Aren't we a pair?" I ask no one.

"So, this girl that has broken your heart, what's her name?"

"Marlene."

"Okay, so Marlene, was she your first?"

"First woman, yes."

"Oh, so there have been men?"

"Yes, before I knew, well I guess I always knew but before I understood, does that make sense?"

"So, how many before her?"

I swallow hard. "Fourteen," I say softly. She sits up and looks me in the eye.

"Well you didn't exactly dabble did you, made sure it wasn't for you?"

I chuckle. "Yeah, I guess."

"You must have gotten started early."

"I never really thought about it."

"What do you think you were looking for?"

This is getting deep and I'm just opening up to her. I'm telling Elan things that I've never told anyone else.

"I guess it has to do with my dad." I stare into the chasm.

"What about your dad, Lynn? He didn't abuse you did he?" She clenches her fists and jaw.

"No, nothing like that. I mean he couldn't have abused me, he was never there."

"Okay." She seems relieved to learn that I wasn't abused. Does she care about me?

"So I guess I was out there looking for affection from guys because I never got it from my dad."

My legs are cramping from being folded up. I stretch out and massage the tight muscle in my thigh.

"Are you okay or do you need to go?" Elan asks.

"I don't know how much longer I can sit here."

She braces herself against one of the rocks and stands up before swinging my bag over her shoulder. Then she offers me her hand, wraps an arm around my lower back, and puts my arm around her shoulder. From this position she is able to help support my weight as we walk back up the path. My leg cramp has subsided by the time we reach the pit floor and Elan loosens her grip on my body.

"You can stay at my place tonight so you don't have to go back to the dormitory."

I say, "Thank you," and I mean it. I didn't know where I was going to sleep tonight.

She slips her hand into mine and our fingers entwine. We fit together like we were made for one another, I think as she leads me to her apartment. When we reach the door she fumbles for her keys and unlocks the door.

The apartment is the same layout as Shauna's so I know where everything is located but I let her show me around anyway. She motions to the couch and asks if I'd like to sit down.

"Actually, do you mind if I take a quick shower?" I want to wash the events of the evening off of me.

"No problem let me grab you a towel." She grabs a towel from a closet in the bathroom and shows me where to find the toiletries.

Once I'm alone in the bathroom I strip down. I go to the sink and look at my face in the mirror. You can tell I've been crying. My eyes are puffy. I'm far from cute. It's no wonder Elan hasn't tried anything.

Out of habit I open the medicine cabinet and wish I hadn't. You can tell that two people once shared this space. Half of the shelves are empty, a sad reminder of a failed relationship. I wonder if Elan feels the same way when she looks inside.

I turn the water on and step into the shower. I quickly wash my body and rinse my hair. I step out of the shower and start to dry off. I realize that I didn't bring my bag in the bathroom with me and I have nothing to wear. I crack the door and call out.

"Elan!"

"Yeah, what do you need?" she calls from the living room.

"I need some clothes, do you mind bringing me my bag?"

"No problem." She brings my duffel and I stick my arm out the crack in the door. I have to open the door a little more than I'd like to get my bag inside the bathroom. I can tell she is trying look only at my face.

"Thanks, I'll be out in a few."

I grab a pair of pajama pants and a tank top out of the bag. I dry my body and put them on. Then I decide I should brush my teeth. When I get out of the bathroom Elan is standing in the bedroom. She has some clothes in her hand.

"I'm going to wash up and get ready for bed if that's okay with you."

"Sure."

I go out and sit on the couch. I figure this is where I'll be sleeping tonight. Elan comes out of the bathroom. Her face is clean and she as on her pajamas, which are essentially the same as mine.

"I was going to get you a blanket and extra pillow but it seems I lost all of those in the split."

"Oh," I look from her face to the bedroom door.

"I promise I won't try anything if you want to sleep in my bed." She reaches out her hand and I grab it.

"Thank you," I embrace her.

Her arms envelop me and I feel warm and safe and connected to every part of her. It is amazing. I do not want to let go. She breathes deeply and hugs me tighter. We stand there, arms around each other, for longer than we probably should. Neither of us wants to break the contact.

Finally her arm slips down and takes my hand. Again, I am amazed at how well our hands fit together. She leads me to the bedroom. She pulls down the blankets and I sit down. I lay my head on the pillow, facing away from her, and she tucks me in and rubs her hand over my head. Then she goes to the other side of the bed and gets under the covers. I am looking directly at her. She lies down on her back with her left hand behind her head. Her right hand rests on her stomach. She looks uncomfortable.

"Are you okay," I ask her?

"I'm fine, I'm just not used to sleeping alone yet."

"You're not alone, I'm here."

"I mean not with someone I, you know, oh never mind." She gives up trying to explain herself and puts her forearm across her eyes.

I move closer to her and place my head on her chest. Her arm comes down from behind her head and holds me close. I wrap my arm across her abdomen and my leg across hers. I feel safe in her arms and fall asleep listening to the sound of her heartbeat.

* * *

**This isn't going to suddenly become AU. Tonight is still the night of the attack on Abnegation. We'll pick up with these lovely ladies after Tris destroys the simulation. **


	18. Chapter 18

**Sorry it has taken me so long to update. I have been very happily distracted by the amazingly beautiful and brilliantly talented DauntlessInTheEnd. It hasn't left me with much writing time.**

The smell of blood is the first thing I notice. Blood mixed with sulfur and metal. It's the smell of gunfire and death. My other senses slowly return. I hear screams, sobs, and pleading. Someone is begging for their life. Then a gunshot, the begging stops, and I hear a body hit pavement. I am standing in a street surrounded by identically plain houses. There is a body at my feet. The person wears Abnegation grey clothes that are soaked with blood. Blood is so much darker than you'd think. It's thick and has started to gel at the edges of the pool. I quickly back away as if the blood pool will swallow me up. I hold a gun in my hands. This is so surreal. What am I doing here? Is this another simulation? It must be. How do I wake up?

I look around for a familiar face and find hers. I am relieved that Elan is here with me. I watch her throw her gun to the pavement as if it disgusts her. She shakes her head and runs her hands through her short hair. She crouches down to the body at her feet and places her finger on his neck before quickly starting to pound on his chest. I think she's trying to revive him but I can tell from here that her attempt will be futile. She is wailing and won't stop. I run to her and attempt to pull her off of the man. She continues to compress his chest. I grab her arms from behind and she relents. Once she is no longer hovering over them man can see the damage she's caused. His chest is sunken in from broken ribs. Blood is running out of his mouth and nose. It has started to congeal around his head. His eyes are blank and fixed. His skin is ashen. He was dead before she ever attempted to revive him.

I turn Elan around to face me so she can no longer see the man's body but images of death are impossible to avoid. There are bodies everywhere. She buries her face into my shoulder and sobs.

"What have we done?"

"I don't know, I think this is a simulation but I'm not sure. Either way, we need to get out of here. This can't be safe."

I take Elan's hand. Once again I am in awe of how they seem to be made for each other. We walk together away from the Abnegation sector. We aren't speaking, just walking, and holding hands.

* * *

I wake up in a panic. My heart races, my breaths are shallow and rapid. It was just a dream but it seemed so real, like I was there again. I look down at my hands and can still see a gun, the gun that killed an unknown number of victims during the simulation. Beyond the gun I can still see the ribbons of blood running in the streets, the blood of the Abnegation men, women, and children that I, we, murdered. I sit straight up in my bed.

Four days. That's how long it has been. Four days ago I woke up in hell, having realized that I murdered innocent people. I do not remember anything of the simulation. I fell asleep in Elan's bed, curled up to her body. The next thing I remember is looking down at my hands as they held gun and seeing blood and death everywhere. She was there too. We haven't spoken since I pulled her off of the man she shot.

Since the simulation my life has been upended. Half of my faction, the faction I grew up in and had only just joined as a member, has deserted us to support Erudite. The remaining Dauntless retreated to Candor headquarters. The Merciless Mart doesn't feel like home. I ease out of my bunk and slowly walk out of the makeshift dormitory that we have created, crossing over the unbalanced scales in the floor. I quietly slip out the door and into the hallway. Solitude is difficult to find here, even worse than it was during initiation. The Loyal Dauntless are crowded into the Merciless Mart. I duck into the stairwell and sink down onto a stair. I lean over my knees, link my hands under my thighs. Tears well up in my eyes and, before long, I begin to sob. I know that crying won't change what I've done but remorse is the only sentiment that I can feel right now. I cry until I have no more tears. My body is exhausted from the outpouring of emotion. I begin to unfurl my legs when I hear someone else crying.

"Hello?" I say timidly.

The crying immediately stops. I bend over the railing and look up between the stairs, there is no one. Then I look down and I see her. Elan is one flight below me. She has dark circles under her bloodshot eyes and quickly turns away. I run down the stairs towards her. I need to be close to her. The last place I felt safe was in her arms. I throw my arms around her body. At first she is limp in my arms but she slowly runs her hands up my back and returns my embrace. Her hands continue up my back and to the sides of my face. She lifts my head and my eyes meet hers. I lean up to kiss her but she turns her head. My lips find her cheek instead.

"What did we do?" she whispers into my ear.

I step back and take her arms into my hands. I look into her eyes and answer.

"Exactly what the Erudite and Jeanine wanted us to," I answer.

That's the only way I can keep on going, reminding myself that I didn't have any control over my body. I was no more a murderer than the weapon I held while under the simulation. I was only a tool. Jeanine was a murderer, Eric was a murderer, Max was a murderer, but I was not and neither was Elan.

I take her head into my hands. I wipe her tears away with my thumbs and hold her face. I lean in close. This time she doesn't turn away. I swear I can hear her heart pounding and it is almost as fast as mine. I can feel her warm breath on my lips. They almost tingle with anticipation. Finally our lips meet. I have been waiting for this for so long. Her lips are soft. The kiss deepens and her lips part in invitation. The tip of my tongue finds hers and she lets out a soft moan. I wrap my arms around her waist and hold her closely as the kiss deepens.

She runs her fingers up my arms. I can feel everywhere she has touched me, it's like she's leaving tracks in my flesh.

A door slams somewhere on one of the floors above us. The entire stairwell is abruptly filled with the din of Dauntless. Elan takes a step back. The distance between us immediately feels vast. Soon the mob is upon us. Elan and I flatten ourselves to the wall of the landing to keep from getting trampled. I yell out into the sea of black clothes, tattoos, and piercings in hopes that someone would answer me.

"What's going on?"

"Tris and Four just walked into the lobby!" answers a nameless, faceless person.

"They're going to interrogate them with truth serum!" someone else says excitedly.

"When?" I ask.

"Seven o'clock tonight."

Tonight? Then why are they barreling down the stairs? I look over to Elan. I hope she is thinking the same thing I am. At seven tonight most of the inhabitants of the Merciless Mart will be watching Tris and Four get interrogated and we could have some uninterrupted time.


	19. Chapter 19

**This chapter really should just be a continuation of chapter 18 but I wanted to get that one up because it had been so long since I updated. **

**There's smut ahead, as if you didn't know it was coming.**

* * *

The Dauntless descend the stairs and, once we are alone again, I look over to Elan.

"Do you want to go to the interrogation?" I ask shyly. I hope she says no.

"Not really," she says. "I don't really know either of them and, to be honest, I'd like to avoid anything to do with the simulation."

Elan seems to be dealing with the tragedy by avoiding. I know this isn't healthy and will eventually come to head but, for now, I'm just glad she doesn't want to watch Four and Tris getting questioned.

Three steps is all it takes to close the gap between our bodies. I lean in close to her. My hips press against the tops of her thighs. I look up to whisper in her ear. I don't know why I feel the need to whisper since the Dauntless are several flights below us and making too much noise to ever hear me.

"I want you," I say boldly as I grind my hips into her, pinning her against the wall. I can feel her heartbeat pounding against my chest.

I do, I want her but I am nervous. Marlene was the first woman I have ever been with. She had only fooled around with Uriah. What if I'm no good? I mean, Marlene enjoyed herself but I'm sure Elan has much more experience.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." I say with certainty. I'm more sure of this than I am anything else in my life right now.

"When, how?" she asks.

"Tonight, during the interrogation. I'm sure all the Dauntless will be watching. We'll have the room with the bunks all to ourselves."

Elan nods in acceptance. I give her a peck on the lips and push my body away from hers. We leave the stairwell together but go opposite ways down the hall.

I make a list in my mind of all the things I need to do before my evening with Elan. I need to shower and shave. First I wonder what I should wear but then I smirk deviously because I don't plan on wearing much for long. Good thing since my clothes are still at Dauntless headquarters. I can't help but think back to when I was getting ready for my afternoon with Marlene. I was so nervous then. I didn't think I could ever be more nervous. I was wrong. Marlene was inexperienced but Elan is not. I hope I can give her what she wants.

* * *

Elan lies on her bed, pretending to nap, as the last of the Dauntless leave the room.

Marlene stops at my bunk and asks, "You coming Lynn?"

"No, I have no desire to hear what they have to say." I answer flatly as I try to avoid looking over at Elan.

"Well, I'll save you a spot if you change your mind," she says as she reaches out for my shoulder. I quickly pull away from her touch. She leaves, looking hurt.

As soon as the last Dauntless has left the room I run to the door with a sheet. There's no lock and the only way to ensure that we have privacy is to tie the door handles together. I walk back to Elan's bed. Is she still pretending or is she really sleeping? I reach out to touch her face and her hand meets mine. She lifts her blankets and scoots over in bed to make room for me as she kisses my fingers.

I kick off my shoes and lie back on her bed. The passion and lust in her eyes are enough to make me wet before she even touches me. Those eyes. Fuck! Elan leans over my body, bracing herself against the bed, and begins to kiss me. She kisses my forehead, my closed eyelids, and my cheek before moving to my ear.

"This is all about you," she growls into my ear. I turn my face to hers and give her a puzzled look.

"Lie back and enjoy dear, you'll see."

Elan straddles my body, leans over, and kisses me. Our first kiss in the stairwell was amazing but this one is even better. She is forceful and aggressive with her tongue. It's as if she cannot get enough of me. I love the way it feels and I moan into her mouth. I reach out for the hem of her shirt and attempt to pull it over her head. She quickly pulls away from our kiss.

"Nuh uh uh," she says as she wags her finger at me. "Not so fast."

Her kisses are not without teeth. She kisses and nibbles down my neck and across my collarbone. Her hands are no longer supporting her on the bed. Instead, she is roaming my body. Her hands find my breasts. She kneads them and then pinches my nipples through my shirt and I moan again. I thrust my cunt up to meet hers. I need to be closer to her. There is too much space and fabric between us. I tug at her shirt again. She grabs my wrists and pins them to the bed. Her force shocks and excites me.

She reaches down and pulls my shirt over my head. My bra is close behind. She swiftly removes her shirt revealing a tight blank tank and no bra. I can see through the fabric that she has barbells in her nipples. She slides down my body. Her knees are now straddling my thighs. Her hands return to my breasts and her mouth soon follows. She circles my nipple with her tongue and then exhales. Between her tongue and her breath a sensation shoots from my hard nipple down my body and directly to my cunt. I reach down and run my fingers through her hair. I attempt to push her head lower; I want her now.

She looks up at me with those large beautiful eyes. "I'll get there soon enough dear," she says with a wink before returning her attention to my nipples. She lowers a hand to me and teases me through my pants. I moan and rock my hips towards her. She grinds into my thighs and moans against my nipple. I can feel through her underwear that she is wet. I reach down to touch her and she grabs my wrist again.

"I said this was about you," she says firmly. Her expression tells me that she is serious.

Before I have the opportunity to attempt to touch her again she stands and removes her pants. Then she sits on her knees between my legs and jerks at my belt to loosen it. She quickly undoes the button of my pants and slides them down, along with my underwear. She raises my ankles over her shoulder and removes them completely. I am lying there, naked, and Elan is sitting between my legs.

She lies down to my right with her leg thrown across mine. She kisses me deeply again and runs her hand from the side of my face down my body stopping at my seeping wet slit. With one finger she parts my lips and begins to rub circles around my clit, never touching it. I want to rock my hips and force contact but fear that she will stop. She likes to be in control and I allow it. She breaks our kiss and props her head up on her elbow. She watches me intently. A second finger joins her first and she begins to gingerly graze my clit. I bite my lower lip and moan. My eyes beg for more and she concedes. Her two fingers dip low on my slit. Once they are wet she returns her attention to my clit; alternating pressure as she circles my clit. Her circles widen and she is soon dipping inside me. I rock to meet her hand. She enters me with three fingers and circles my clit with her thumb. She raises up and supports herself with her free hand. Her body is across mine. From this angle she can enter me deeply. Soon she adds a fourth finger. How does she know exactly what I want?

Her thrusts are coming quickly now. I tighten around her fingers. I am very close. She leans over and takes my nipple into her mouth, sucking voraciously. Then, just as I am about to come, she bites down. My back arches and my ass lifts off of the bed to meet her hand. I groan out a, "fuck me!"

Elan doesn't give me time to recover from my orgasm. She slips her hand out of me quickly replaces it with her mouth. She nibbles at my lips, teasing me with her tongue. She licks up my lips and stops at my clit. She torments my clit with a few soft laps before running her tongue against my folds. She sucks my inner lips into her mouth before entering me with her tongue. She swirls her tongue around inside me and then licks up to my clit again. She swiftly enters me with three fingers. Her tongue deftly alternates between teasing my clit and lips as she slowly thrusts her fingers in and out of me. I am overwhelmed by all of the sensations. I grab at the sheets and bite the pillow to keep from screaming out.

My entire body goes rigid. My breaths come in pants and my body shakes with each one. Then it hits me. I throw my head back back and hold my breath as the waves of a second orgasm wash over my body. Once I can open my eyes I look down to see Elan looking up at me with a satisfied smile spread across her glistening face.

My body goes limp. I couldn't walk if I had to. Elan puts her pants and shirt back on before helping me into my clothes. I watch as she unties the sheet from the door and then drift off to sleep.


End file.
